If Tommorow Ever Comes
by BcKp2
Summary: Ashley and Spencer have just started to settle down in their lives together... but something big could change it all. Slightly AU. Please see authors note at beginning of story.
1. Chapter 1

I wrote this story years ago, I believe it was May 2011 but I never finished it. For some reason years later I have found my way back to it even though I don't even read fan fiction anymore. However, I just really enjoyed writing this story and when I found it on my computer was upset that I never gave it an ending or added anymore to it. I hope that I can continue the story and give it a good ending. I'm not even sure how many people still read SON fanfic or if anyone will remember this story. Here are all of the chapters that have been written to date. I am currently working on a new chapter. As you might notice- This was originally posted under my old user name BcKp- which I have forgotten the log in info to, so now it is under my new name BcKp2.

FOR ANYONE WHO REMEMBERS THIS STORY- AWESOME- IF YOU DON'T PLEASE ENJOY AND REVIEW IF YOU WISH TO. **ALSO PLEASE READ** NOTE AT THE END OF THIS POST AS IT WILL SAVE YOU ANY QUESTIONS YOU MIGHT HAVE.

Chapter 1

I'm laying here in my bed thinking about my life. Thinking about everything, and possibly re-evaluating it. Now don't get me wrong, I'm very happy with my life and the way it has been going these last few years. Two years ago I got married to the woman of my dreams; we bought a house in the suburbs of L.A., nothing spectacular but nothing shabby either. A year and a half ago I received a job as a first grade teacher which is my dream job and what I spent 4 years at UCLA for, and Ashley my wife recently got promoted to First Lieutenant of Fort Irwin. things are great. I feel like there is only one thing missing in my life, one BIG thing.

I look over at my wife; she is lying beside me reading over some paper work, probably for work I'm assuming. I roll over and kiss her bare shoulder a few times; I let my lips linger on her shoulder as I whisper her name.

"Ash" I say as I kiss her shoulder again

"Hmmm" she mumbled, but didn't acknowledge me

"Ash baby" I push my body into her side to get her attention

She puts her papers on the desk beside the bed and rolls over to face me

"Yeah?" She wraps her arm around my waist and pulls me closer

"You know, I have been thinking a lot lately"

"Oh no!" She jokes as she expertly rolls over and in between my legs and nuzzles her face in my neck and sighs. She starts to kiss and nip at my neck

"What have you been thinking about babe?" She asks as she continues kissing down my neck

"Well I have just been thinking that maybe, I don't know, I just think it's time that we start trying to have… a baby" I finally got out

I feel her stop kissing my neck, as she stiffens up. She pulls her head back and looks at me for a couple of seconds. Quickly she pulls back and sits at the edge of the bed; she throws her feet over the side and goes to get up. I grab her hand and pull her back to me before she can get away. She yanks her wrist out of my hand, and she looks angry.

"That's what your good at huh Spencer?!, you think you can make all the choices in our relationship and decide to just fill me in when you think it's a good time"

"Ashley that's not even what its li…" I can't even finish before Ashley is cutting me off

"Oh of course it isn't, do you think it's okay for you to just throw this at me all at once, without any warning… when are you gonna stop being so fucking selfish all the time?!"

"Baby please, just listen to me" I pleaded desperately

"No Spencer, we are just now getting settled down, and getting used to things, I just got promoted. and you just got your job not that long ago, do you really think that the best thing for us would be to have a baby right now?"

I just looked at her; I had no words at this moment. Ashley never acted like this, she never yelled at me, or got angry with me. We had already talked about having kids before, and I know Ashley wanted them just as badly as I did.

"I thought this was what we both wanted, Ash, we talked about it before, you said you wanted to have a baby" I just wanted her to see my side

"Well there you go, just assuming things again Spencer… and you know what else, in order for us to have a baby, we would actually have to fuck- and god knows you haven't been putting out lately"

"Are you seriously gonna go there right now Ashley? You know how busy I have been with work, and how stressed I have been lately" I say defeated as I start to cry

"Well shit Spencer! If your so damn stressed and tired, why the fuck would you think it would be a good idea to have a baby?"

"Just shut up Ashley, your unbelievable, all I wanted was to talk to you about having a baby, and you blow up on me about everything! And right now I'm starting to wonder why I ever even thought about having a baby with you!" I yell, I'm sobbing now I can't hold my tears back

She looks a little shocked and hurt at the last statement. I walk over to the closet and grab a blanket and a pillow; I turn around walk over to where Ashley is standing and shove them into her chest

"Get the fuck out!" I scream, I am so mad at her I don't even want to see her

"Where am I supposed to go?"

"I don't care where you go, just get away from me… I don't even want to see you" Another sob wracks through my body

She grabs the blanket and pillow and slams the door on her way out. I cried myself to sleep

.

Chapter 2

I'm on my way home now. Work today was horrible, and all I could think of was the fight Ashley and I had. When I left this morning Ashley was already gone, she always leaves early in the morning. I can't help but wonder what it will be like tonight at home. Will we not be on speaking terms, will we get into another fight, and will we talk like a "civil" married couple… There are just so many thoughts running through my head. Ashley always gets home about forty-five minutes after I do. I just want to be able to work through this and be able to see eye to eye.

Ashley's POV

I can't believe I treated Spencer like that last night, it's completely out of character for me. I never want to hurt her, but I'm just really worried about everything right now. My thoughts are cut off as someone walks in my office I look up to see Aiden standing in the doorway. He is my right hand man and best friend on the base, and he is also my brother in-law.

"So have you told Spencer yet?" he asks

I look up at him with a defeated look "No, I just can't bring myself to tell her, I know we leave in a week, but I just don't want to break her heart… you know this is exactly what she has always been worried about." He nods his understanding

"I know exactly what you mean, I still haven't told Kyla yet" Kyla is my sister, her and Aiden just got married a month ago, I introduced them 2 years ago and the rest is history

"Last night I really let it get to me though, and I ended up sleeping on the couch because of it" I begin. "Spencer started talking about trying to have a baby, and I totally freaked. I mean I knew that it would come up sooner or later, but it just seems to be bad timing, I can't be having her pregnant back here while I'm overseas, plus worst case, what if something would happen to me while we are over there, then where would she be? Raising a child as a war widow, it just doesn't seem fair to her" I sat and contemplated everything for a few seconds. "I'm gonna tell her tonight… I have too it's only fair, and we leave in a week" Tonight I'm going to tell Spencer that I will be deploying for Iraq in a week, and that I will be over there for six months.

I walk into the house with the pizza I stopped and got for supper "Spence baby, are you here?" I yelled out into the house as I sat the pizza down and started off in search of her, I stopped suddenly as I saw her sitting on the couch curled up with a glass of wine, I could tell she had been crying. I tentatively walked in the room

"Hey" I said as I sat down slowly on the other end of the couch, she just looked at me and gave me a small nod

I slid a little closer to her on the couch "Spence look, I know things got out of hand last night and I was completely out of line" I began explaining to her desperately " I know you never deserve to be treated like that, and especially not from me" she just continues looking at me, urging me to continue my explanation "Baby" I gently put my hand on her thigh "You know you mean everything to me, and I want to have the best life with you, and I want to give you anything you want… even a baby because you know that I want one to"

"Then why would you act like that Ashley? Do you realize how bad that hurt me?" She gives me a sad look; I put my head down ashamed at the fact that I knew I hurt her

"I know Spence, I know baby, it's just that I really don't think… well you see, I just don't think we should have a baby right now, you know, why not try in a year?… we will be fully settled in and everything, and it would just make more sense" I tried to explain

She took my hands in hers and gave me a pleading look "Ashley, please I know we are ready now, and I just really want a baby so badly, and I know you do t" I cut her off before she could continue

"I'm deploying in a week Spencer!" There I finally got it out

She just looked at me, her mouth opened and closed several times, tears were welling up in her eyes as she looked at me. She quickly stood up, she chucked her wine glass against the wall. It shattered into tiny pieces and the wine splattered all over.

"Spence!" I said quickly grabbing her arm, she spun around and threw her arms around my neck, hugging me tightly as she put her head in my neck and began sobbing, I just hugged her and rubbed comforting circles on her back.

She finally pulled back after a long silence "Please don't go" she got out in between shaky breaths as she heaved trying to catch her breath her face was red and splotchy from crying, and it broke my heart. I brought my hands up and cupped her cheeks and wiped her tears with my thumbs.

"Baby, don't make it harder on me than it already is, you know I never want to leave you… but I have to go, it's my job." She knows I don't have a choice, but it doesn't make matters easier on either of us. She doesn't say anything but just goes back to hugging me. We stood there simply hugging for a long time.

Later that night we were in bed talking and cuddling with one another. I suppose this is how our last week together would be. Try and spend as much quality time together as possible. I hate leaving her, but at least I know that her family will be there for her, as well as my sister. She and Kyla will have to keep each other company because both Aiden and I will be gone.

"You know I'm gonna miss you so much" Spencer says to me bringing me out of thought as she nuzzles into my neck

"I know, I'm gonna miss you like crazy" I rolled on top of her "butt, I'm really going to miss your sexy body more than anything" I said joking around, as I started playfully kissing down her body

"I'm sure that's exactly what you're going to miss" Spencer said while laughing, she pushed Ashley's head away from her as she continued her playful manner.

When we were done joking around I got face to face with Spencer again with a more serious tone this time. "Spencer, I'm serious when I say that you're the best thing that ever happened to me, and I love you so much" I leaned in and kissed her with all the passion I could, for I knew there weren't many days left with her.

Spencer returned the kiss pulling me closer, putting her hands on the back of my neck as we continued to kiss. Before long Spencer was tugging on my shirt and pulled it up over my head briefly breaking our kiss. We kissed and removed clothes until finally…

"Oh god baby… don't stop" I'm currently licking my wife's pussy and she is moaning like crazy. Her legs are up over my shoulders, I have her hands pinned down to the bed . Spencer is bucking up into my face like wild. She usually has her hands all over me when I'm eating her out, but sometimes I like to pin her hands down just to torture her and get her squirming. Spencer loves pulling my hair and directing me where she wants me to be, but right now I'm in control… I lick and kiss her pussy all over, and she moans her approval "mmmm baby, your soooo goooddd! uhh uhh uhh" she pants as I suck her hard clit into my mouth. She wraps her thighs around my head as I continue to keep her hands pinned down. I give her one last lick the whole way up her slit and tug on her clit with my teeth before I go back up and kiss her and slide right in between her open legs, my pussy on hers.

"Mmmm I love fucking you" I mumble against her lips as I start to grind my pussy with hers. We are both sweating, I love the way our sweat mingles as we slide together, it turns me on like nothing else.

"Harder Ashh!" Spencer moans out. I push myself up on my hands as I start to slide faster and harder against her. I put my one hand around her neck as I fuck her harder than I have all night. Spencer loves getting kinky and she loves it when I choke her.

" Fuck me mmmm yeahhhh.. Spencer tells me through gritted teeth as she really starts pushing into me, which lets me know that she is gonna cum soon

"Mmmm Spence your pussy feels so good! Uhhh" Sweat is starting to form on my fore head as I once again start to fuck her even harder. Spencer runs her hand her hand over my sweaty forehead before running her hand through my hair and pulling it hard. With my free hand, I reach up and grab her hand from my hair. I take my hand from her throat and grab her other hand and pin them both to the bed once again as we continue to pound and slide against each other.

"Uhhhh Ash, I'm gonnaaa, babyyy im gonnaaa… ohhh Asshhhhhh!" Spencer lets out as she cums.. I cum right after her "mmmm spenceeee ahhhhh!" I cum all over her pussy , But before I relax I kiss my way down her body and put my head back between her legs and lick and suck her pussy clean until she reaches down and pushes my head away from her crotch, she closes her legs "Asshhh, im to sensitive!" she moans out

I crawl back up beside her and cuddle into her. We both just lay there for a minute not saying anything, but just relishing in the moment.

"That was sooo good Ash" Spencer finally tells me as she places a kiss on my neck and then puts her head on my chest, I can feel her smiling against my bare skin

"I know baby, definitely the best sex we have had in a while" I tell her as I stroke her blonde hair that is laid out all over me

Both tired from a night of awesome sex, we cuddle up together and fall asleep.

Chapter 3

Today is Ashley's last day at home, and my parents decided to have a cookout for her and Aiden before they leave. We are getting ready to go to the cookout right now, and I am finding it hard not to be sad and mope around, I know Ashley can sense it too by the way she is looking at me.

"Baby, would you stop being so sad already? There is nothing we can do about me leaving so being all gloomy won't make things better" Ashley says as she comes up behind me and places her arms around my waist and puts her chin on my shoulder.

"I know that Ash, but I mean it's kind of hard not to be sad when you are leaving me, and the circumstances don't make the situation any better!" I say pulling away from her, I go over and sit on the bed and run my hand through my hair out of frustration. I hear Ashley sigh her own frustration, but I don't understand how she thinks I can be so happy and joyful when she is leaving me for six months tomorrow.

"Look Spence, I know it's hard, and it definitely isn't easy for me… it's just that I want our last day together to be really nice and I want us to try and have some fun, so if it's possible can we just try to forget about it for a little while, please?" Ashley pleads with me

"Okay, I'll try but there are no promises" I say putting a smile on my face for her, Ashley comes over and gives me a quick kiss as if to seal the deal.

"Alright baby, we need to leave. We told your parents we would be there by 12:30" She tells me rushing us out the door, Ashley has never been one to disappoint my parents

When we get to my parents' house everyone is already there and waiting on us.

"Ashley, it's good to see you" my dad greets her with a hug

"It's good to see you to Mr. C, it's been awhile" She says as she heads over to greet my mom as well.

"Hey Paula! I heard you made your famous Strawberry Margarita's for today" Ashley also embraces my mom in a hug, she has always been such the charmer

" Of course I did, we couldn't send you off without a proper goodbye could we?" My mom and Ashley both share a light chuckle at the statement

While Ashley continues her banter with my parents I go over and join the other girls around the patio table. Kyla, Chelsea and Heather my brother Glens wife, are all sitting around talking.

"Hey girls" I greet them all as I take a seat

"Hey Spencer, how are you? We haven't seen you guys for a few weeks?" Heather asks

"I'm doing as good as I can be I suppose"

"Don't worry Spencer, everything will be fine, Aiden and Ash will have each other's backs" Kyla tells me as she puts a reassuring hand on my shoulder

"I know, but it's still just really hard. Ashley and I haven't been away from each other longer than two days since we have been married… It's just gonna be different that's all" I explain to the girls, they all nod their understandings and continue small talk

Heather is feeding their new baby boy Scott his bottle, I just watch as he contently sucks away without another care in the world.

"Would you like to hold him Spencer?" Heather asks breaking me out of my thought, she must of saw me staring.

I smile and nod, she hands him over to me. He is so precious. I rub my finger up his soft little cheek, he smiles a big toothless grin at me as he begins to squirm a little. I can't help but lean down and squeeze his body to mine a little bit. He is so adorable. I wish me and Ashley were trying for a baby right now. I sigh and hand Scott back to Heather.

"I'm surprised you and Ashley have not had one yet Spence?" She says as though she was reading my mind. Everyone must have been thinking the same thing, they all looked at me with a questioning gaze

"Yeah well that was the plan… you know try and have a baby within these next few months, but with Ashley getting deployed, our plans have changed slightly" Everyone nodded "We decided it would just be best to wait until Ash comes home" I continue, everyone was silent for a few minutes

I turn away from the group and look over to see Ashley playing with Cloey, Glen and Heather's other child our 3 year old niece, in the sand box. Cloey is sitting in Ashley's lap as they are both scooping sand into a bucket. Seeing Ashley be so good with little kids always makes my heart swell. I know she would be such a good mom, and I can't wait until she gets back from deployment so we can maybe start a family of our own. I excuse myself from the table as I walk over to the sandbox where they are playing.

"And what's going on over here?" I ask with amusement as I sit on the edge of the sand box

"Me an aun Ashwey making a san casew" Ashley and I both laugh as Cloey continues scooping sand into the bucket

"Hey Cloey, I'm gonna go with Aunt Spencer now, okay?" Ashley tells Cloey as she reaches for my hand so I will help her up

"No! you stay an pway wit me aun Ashwey" Cloey says as she grabs ahold of Ashley's pant leg

"I'll be back over, me and Aunt Spencer are just gonna go get a drink and talk for a bit okay?"

"Okay" Cloey replies with a pout

"Now let's go get some of your mom's margaritas" Ashley says with an excited smile as she takes ahold of my hand

Later that night after everyone has eaten, we are all just sitting around drinking, talking and having a good time. I'm sitting on Ashley's lap and she is holding me tightly

"Hey baby", she says "your drink is empty how about I get you another one?" I give her an amused look because I know what she is up too; she has been wanting too "refill" all of my empty glasses with more Margaritas today

"What?" she says as she catches onto the way I'm looking at her, she starts to chuckle nervously as though she knows she has been caught

"Don't think I don't know what you're doing" I whisper into her ear playfully as I kiss her cheek… I then hand her my empty glass with a raised eyebrow, she just smirks back at me. Ashley is trying to make sure that she gets me all loose tonight so she will get some before she leaves tomorrow morning. As though I'm really that bad of a wife that I wouldn't just give it to her because she **is** leaving tomorrow for six months... plus she isn't gonna be the only one that no sex for six months is going to be hard on.

I'm starting to wonder where Ashley is she has been getting our drinks for about ten minutes now. I start looking around, and then I spot her talking to my dad inside the house. I just go back outside and wait for her.

 **Ashley's POV**

I'm inside talking to Mr. C right now while everyone else is outside, even though I love Spencer's whole family, he is the one I have always been closest too.

"So what did you want to talk about Ashley?" He asks as he motions for me to sit down

"Well, I just wanted to give you this" I say as I hand him a white envelope that says _Spencer_ on the front. He looks at me confused for a minute

"Mr. C, you know as well as I do that there is a very good chance that something could happen to me while I'm over there. I wanted to give this letter to you in case something does, then you can give it to Spencer for me. I didn't want to give it to her myself because I don't want her to get worried, more than she already is." I look at him and he nods at me

"You know Ashley; there isn't another person in this world I would of rather Spencer ended up with. You have treated my daughter better than I ever could of asked for. I know you will come back safely… but I will hold onto this letter for you."

"Thanks Mr. C" I say as I give him a big tearful hug.

After I walk outside I motion for Spencer letting her know that I am ready to leave, although the cookout and seeing everyone was really nice… I want to spend my last night at home with my wife, where I belong.

"Ashley you be careful and we will see you in six months" Mr. C and Paula hug me

"I will, and thank you for everything today, it was really great" I let them know

I say goodbye to everyone else, and they all wish me good luck and tell me to come back safely. The reality of the situation is sinking in now more than it has all week.

When we get to the car we head home. I gently lace my fingers with Spencer's and bring her hand up to my mouth for a kiss. I then put our laced hands back on the gear shift. The rest of the ride home is silent, but it is comfortable.

"Ashley we will never get inside you if insist on continuing this!" Spencer says as she playfully swats at my arm. I currently have my arms around Spencer's waist and my chin on her shoulder as she is trying to walk inside. I realize I'm making getting to the door very difficult for us, but I just can't help it

"I know baby, I just don't want to let go" I say as I kiss her neck

"Aww aren't you just so romantic" Spencer says as she spins around in my arms and cups my cheek in her hand " but you do realize the longer it takes us to get inside… the less time we have for other… things" She drags her nose up along my jaw line and then sucks my ear into her mouth giving it a tug with her teeth. I pull back and look at her, I'm sure the arousal is apparent on my face.

"Well I guess we better get inside then huh?" I say quickly as I pick spencer up and throw her over my shoulder as I run us inside

"Ashley put me down, put me down" Spencer squeals out her protest as she giggles. I don't listen to her as I continue running through the house and don't stop until I get upstairs to our bedroom. I finally let Spencer down when I throw her on our bed, but it's not long until I am above her kissing her frantically. I start trailing my lips all over her body as I take her shirt off. I kiss my way back up her neck

"You're so beautiful" I whisper in her ear as I sit up and take my own shirt off. Spencer runs her hands over my stomach over my bra cladded chest over my shoulders and down my back until she reaches the hook of my bra. She then sits up kissing me as she slowly unsnaps my bra and removes it tossing the piece of clothing to the side. She lays back down pulling me along with her never breaking our kiss. We kiss slowly and passionately, our tongues massaging one another in a gentle rhythm. I reach down between us and unbutton both of our pants. We take time to pull apart so we can both remove our pants and underwear. Now we are both naked and I am once again hovering over her, I settle myself in between her legs so our pussies are touching.

"I love you" I say as I lean down and kiss her as I start moving my hips against hers. I move my face down to the crook of Spencer's neck, with every breath or pant I'm breathing in her scent, the same one I haven't been able to get over since we have been together. Spencer is running her hands up and down my back. I love when she does that, this isn't our usual rough, wild, fun, crazy sex, it is our loving emotional sex.

"Mmmmm" Spencer moans out her satisfaction as we continue to grind against one another. I pull back and kiss her lips once again. I then rest my forehead against hers as we continue our steady rhythm of love making.

"God Spence I love you so much" I whisper out to her

"I love you too… uhh you feel so good against my pussyy" Spencer tells me as she reaches down to grab my ass, making me hump her faster. I do as she wants me too and quicken my pace to match hers. I put my face back into the now sweaty crook of Spencer's neck… I begin places hot wet kiss all over her neck. "Mmmm yeahhh Spence" I moan out into her neck

"Ohhh Ash I'm so closeeee" Spencer tells me as she really begins to grind into me harder, she is also scraping her nails down my back.

"Uhhh yeah me too baby" I moan out into the room..

"Cum with me baby, cumm all over me" Spencer urges me quickly

"Uhhhhhhhh yeahhhhhhhh Ashhhh ohhhhhhhhhh mmmmmmmmmm" Spencer moans out as she cums. I'm right behind her

"Fuckkkk yess Spence mmmm, sooo gooodd!" I yell out, as I cum all over her. I grind into her so she can feel my hot cum all over her pussy, before I collapse on top of her. I just keep kissing her bare shoulders, neck, chest, collarbone, anywhere I can get my lips. We sit in silence for awhile, just enjoying our afterglow that only sex can bring.

Suddenly I hear Spencer let out a sob. I pull back and look at her .

" Baby what wrong" I ask as I run my fingers along her cheek

"I just" sob " I just, don't want, don't want"sob "You to, to, go, ooo" Spencer finally gets out as she pulls me into a hug and continues to cry.

" I know you don't baby, but I will be back before you know it" I tell her kissing her forehead

" I just don't want to have to say goodbye to you" Spencer cries out looking into my eyes.

"Baby, it's never goodbye with us, because you know I'll always come back to you… your my girl Spence" I pull her into me, I hold onto her tight because I know this is the last night in months that I will be able to hold her so close me. Spencer falls asleep, and soon after I do to, knowing exactly what tomorrow brings.

Chapter 4

My alarm is blaring, I look over at the clock on the bedside it reads 5:00 a.m. I have to get up and start getting ready to get to the base. I think my shower can wait a few more minutes as I tighten my hold on Spencer and snuggle into her just a little bit more. She takes her hand and laces it with mine that is on her waist. Neither of us say anything; we lay in silence just cuddling together one last time. Finally I decide that I have to get up and start getting ready, I kiss Spencer on the cheek as I get up and head to the shower. I let her lay there and go back to sleep.

The water is cascading down my body and my tears are blending in. I have been really strong up to this point, and I always try to keep my composure in front of Spencer. If she knows that I'm worked up and scared, it will just make things harder on her. I have always tried to take care of her to the best of my ability, I never want her to worry or stress more than she has too. For the first and last time I let the tears fall, I know I cannot cry today when I leave because Spencer will be crying; I'm going to stay strong for her.

I get out of the shower brush my teeth dry my hair and get ready. I walk out into our bedroom to get dressed. I put on my cargo pants and my boots, put my t- shirt on and throw my cargo jacket on over top. I go to zip up my jacket when I feel a hand on my shoulder; I turn around to see Spencer.

"Let me" she says.

She takes the two sides of the jacket and connects them; she slowly pulls the zipper up as she watches it the whole way. When it gets to the top she runs her finger over my name patch _Davies_ she then looks me in the eyes, and runs her hands over my shoulders, down my arms and stops when she gets to my hands. We stand there looking at each other with our hands clasped. She smiles warmly at me as she leans up to kiss me. It's just a short little chaste kiss followed by a few more like it. She then wraps me up in a hug; we both just stand there holding one another sighing contently.

Spencer drives me to the base, and when we get there I can see the huge carrier plane that is being loaded with all the supplies. There is a lot of people standing around with their American Flags, and supportive shirts that say things like _My Son is in the United States Army._ I get my pack out of the back and Spencer takes my hand as we walk up to the plane. "FIVE MINUTES SOLDIERS" is shouted out.

Spencer looks at me panicked as her eyes begin to well up once again. She starts digging around in her bag until she pulls out a little envelope similar to the one I gave to her dad, and hands it to me. I don't ask questions I just take it. We embrace each other once again, I never want to let go. A few seconds later Kyla and Aiden come up beside us; Aiden puts a reassuring hand on Spencer's shoulder.

"I promise I'll watch out for her Spence" Aiden says with all the sincerity in the world

"I know you will, just make sure she comes back to me" Spencer says as she gives Aiden a big hug "You make sure to bring yourself back to Aid"

"Don't worry Spence… we will both be back, sooner than you think"

Kyla gives me a hug as well "Take care of him for me" she whispers in my ear

"I always do" we share a light chuckle, and then Kyla and Aiden start walking towards the plane. But we stay behind.

"Here Spence I have something for you" I say as I'm digging around in my pocket. I finally find the little velvet box and pull it out. I open it up and it reveals a necklace that has 3 diamond hearts. Two big hearts and a smaller one in between them

"I love it" Spencer says as she starts to cry, she runs her fingers over the diamond hearts. I take it out of the box and put it on her.

" the two big hearts represent you and me… and the small heart, is to promise that when I get back home we will start trying for a baby, so then you…I mean we can have a family" I smile at her as I pull back from putting the necklace on her. She is really crying now.

"I love you more than anything, I don't know what I will do while you're gone" Spencer sobs into my neck

"It's gonna be okay baby, I promise I'm coming back" I tell her softly as I rub her back.

"SOLDIERS PLEASE BOARD THE PLANE"

" Well, that's my cue" I tell Spencer as I lean in to kiss her

We share a few kisses before I have to go

"I love you" I tell her

"I love you to" She says as the tears roll down her face

I start to walk away and our hands slowly slip apart as I get out of reach of her. I keep walking until I get to the plane where we board. I look back to see Spencer still crying with her arms crossed as she takes a hand up to her cheek to wipe her tears, I wave to her and blow her a kiss as I look at her one last time before I get onto the plane. I go over sit by Aiden and get strapped in. We don't speak; I think it's mainly because we are thinking about our girls that we are leaving for six months. After I get settled and strapped in, I pull out the envelope Spencer gave to me and open it up. First I pull out a picture; it's a picture of us, my favorite picture of us. A black and white photo of us laying on the couch at her parents' house, we are both sleeping and cuddled together. It was taken the first time I ever went to meet Spencer's family during Christmas junior year in college. My mind wonders back in time.

" _Baby, please go with me" Spencer pleaded as she placed small kisses on my neck like she was trying to persuade me with her sweet lips._

" _I don't know Spence, I have never really done anything like this before" I told her as I walked away_

" _I know Ashley, but please do it for me… plus I know my parents are going to love you" she says wrapping her arms around me and putting her head against my back._

" _It's not that I don't want to spend Christmas with you, I just feel like I'm intruding on your families holiday a little bit that's all"_

" _But you're not intruding at all baby, my mom told me to invite you, you know that" Spencer said as she took a seat on top of my counter and pulled me in between her legs_

" _It's just, I don't know babe, I'm a little nervous… I have never really been in a family where holidays are a big deal, and I don't know how to act" I said moving my hands trying to get her to understand_

 _Spencer grabbed my face and gave me a short kiss._

" _I know that this is not something you're used to, but I love you, and I want my parents to meet the girl that I am so crazy about… so will you please come?" She said looking into my eyes_

 _I rolled my eyes as a smile started to appear on my face_

" _Ughhhhh, I guess I'll go" Spencer squealed and clapped her hands together in her excitement_

" _Well now that that's settled" Spencer said as she got off the counter and started walking to my bedroom "Let's go take care of some other things" She took her shirt off and threw it at me leaving her only in her blue lacy bra and a pair of boy shorts "Are you coming?" She said as she quirked her eyebrow at me, I quickly followed her into the bedroom… not to brag or anything, but it was a goooodd night!_

 _Two days later I found myself driving Spencer and myself to her parents' house for Christmas. I am nervously tapping my thumbs against my steering wheel, because Spencer told me we are only a few minutes from her house. Spencer places her hand on my thigh trying to calm me_

" _Baby would you just settle down please, you're really making a bigger deal out of this than you need to"_

" _Whatever Spencer! Why is it so hard to understand that I'm nervous because I have never done this before… so would you just get off my shit already, I am nervous, and I am going to continue to be nervous so just drop it already, Jesus Christ…" I said out of my frustration immediately regretting taking out my nerves on Spencer so harshly_

 _She removed her hand from my thigh and shifted as far away from me in her seat as she could. I felt bad but I figured I would let her cool down for a few seconds before I said anything._

 _I looked over at Spencer, she was just looking out the window with her arms crossed and slouched down in the seat._

" _Spence" I said trying to get her attention, but she didn't answer me_

" _Spencer…" I said again, when she didn't answer this time I knew she was ignoring me_

 _I reached over and tried to take her hand but she quickly pulled away_

" _Get off me Ashley, Seriously, You just flipped out on me for no reason" She said with a scowl on her face_

" _I know I did, and I'm sorry baby… I shouldn't of taken my nerves out on you and I'm sorry" I said sincerely " You know how worked up I already am about meeting your family, and it would make things a lot easier if you could forgive me and we could be on good terms for when we get there" I pleaded with her, I knew she was going to forgive me, I could tell by the look on her face_

" _It's okay Ash, just try not to take things out on me" She said as she took my hand and told me to pull into the 3_ _rd_ _driveway on the right_

 _I pulled into the driveway and turned my car off, I looked over at Spencer in a panic. She just cupped my cheek and pulled me in for a kiss_

" _It's going to be fine baby, I promise" She mumbled against my lips before she gave me another kiss and then opened her door to get out. I quickly copied her and also opened my door, she grabbed my hand as we walked to the front door. When we got inside Spencer yelled_

" _Mom, dad, I'm home!"_

 _I then see what I suppose to be her parents both walk out of the kitchen wearing aprons_

" _Oh my Spence, we have missed you so much" Her mother says as she comes and pulls her into a hug_

" _Glad to see your finally home kiddo" Her dad greets her as he gives her a hug as well_

 _Before Spencer can forget about me she turns and pulls me up to her parents_

" _Mom, dad… this is my girlfriend Ashley" Spencer tells them with a big grin on her face_

" _Hi Mr. and Mrs. Carlin, it's nice to meet you" I say as I avert eye contact quickly_

" _Oh please call me Paula" Her mom says as she comes and pulls me into a hug "It's so good to finally meet you, Spencer has told us so much" She quickly comes over and wraps me up in a hug…_

" _Oh…ummm… I'm really glad to meet you to" I say, the hug is a little awkward for me_

" _And you can call me Arthur" He says as he pats a hand on my back_

" _Okay mom that's enough… she is_ _ **my**_ _girlfriend!" Spencer says laughing, finally getting her mom to let go of me._

" _Okay okay, we were just making some cookies, why don't you guys take your bags up stairs, get changed and come help us"_

" _We will be right down" Spencer said as she leads the way upstairs,_

" _So this is your room huh?" I say as I take in my surroundings, nothing less than what I expected, it just screams Spencer. Above her bed there is a collage of photos of which I assume to be her friends and family. I'm intrigued by the pictures, it tells me a lot about my girl and her life._

" _Yeah it is" Spencer says breaking my gaze from all of her pictures, she comes up to me and quickly attaches her lips to mine and starts moving me back towards the bed. I'm soon sitting on her bed with her straddling me as we continue to kiss._

 _I soon break away from the kiss "Babe, are you sure we should be doing this? I mean your parents are right down stairs" I whisper to her, we stop kissing and try to gain control of our breathing._

" _Umm yeah, I guess your right let's just umm get changed and go downstairs" Spencer says as she tries to collect herself, I can tell she is worked up, but I just feel a little odd about the situation and her parents being right below us_

 _The week passed by quickly and it was already Christmas and Spencer's whole family came over for dinner. After dinner it was time to open gifts, everyone is gathered in the living room as gifts are being passed out. I sat there and watched as everyone else gave and received gifts, I felt bad because I hadn't brought anything for anyone but Spencer. I figured I could just give hers to her later at night when it was just the two of us._

 _I watched mainly as Spencer opened her presents. She got some clothes, a few gift cards, a few new DVD's (which I am looking forward to watching, I love when we just sit in and watch movies together some nights) a new IPod, and a Kindle. After Spencer was done opening all her gifts she came and sat by me on the couch._

" _Are you alright baby?" She asked kissing me on the cheek, and letting her lips linger_

 _I just turned and smiled at her, letting her know that I was fine._

" _Ohhh, and how could I forget? But we have one more gift" Mrs. Carlin said as she picked up a wrapped little box from under the tree._

" _Here Ashley, this is for you" I looked at her and grabbed the gift_

" _Thankyou, you really didn't nee" I began but was soon cut off_

" _Oh nonsense, everyone gets presents around here" She said urging me with her hands to open up the present_

 _I quickly ripped the wrapping paper off. The box revealed a new IPod, just like Spencer's. I gasped I was so excited I had been wanting a new IPod so badly._

" _Oh My God, this is soo great… thankyou so much!" I Got up and gave Paula a hug thanking her for the gift, I then went over and gave Arthur a hug as well. I had grown pretty fond of them over the last week. I sat back on the couch and got lost in the new IPod. It was really nice to be with a family that was so caring and nice. Spencer just watched me, her amusement apparent on her face._

" _You're welcome Ashley, we consider you as family now, so we want you to feel the same about us" Paula said giving me a big grin which I returned._

" _See, I told you my parent's would love you" She whispered in my ear, I turned and gave her a kiss on the lips_

" _I know, I know, but this is so awesome, I'm just really excited!" I said giving her another kiss_

 _After the presents were all opened and all the deserts were eaten everyone had retired for the night, which left just me and Spencer downstairs. We were just enjoying each other's company. I was holding her as we cuddled together, staying mostly quiet… but sharing a few words and a few kisses every now and then._

" _So you had a good time tonight then?" Spencer questioned me_

" _Yeah it was great babe, I couldn't be happier" I said enthusiastically_

" _Good I'm glad, but I have a present for you from me" She said as she got up and went under the tree to get it. I took the opportunity to get her present as well._

 _Spencer came back with my gift and we exchanged them to one another_

" _Before you open it" Spencer said as she put her hand on mine "I know it's not much, but I hope you like it" She explained_

" _Don't worry about it babe, I'm sure I'll love it" I said giving her a warm smile_

 _I opened my gift and first I pulled out a twenty dollar ITunes card, letting me know that Spencer had something to do with her parents getting me and IPod. I then pulled out an IPod running band. I knew it wasn't much, and so did Spencer… but it didn't matter to me. The thought is what counts._

" _It's great" I said giving her a hug and handing her the gift I got for her_

 _The box I gave her was slightly bigger than the one she gave me, she gave it a little shake before opening it._

" _Awe Ash… exactly what I wanted" she said as she laughed. I got her a new pair of Nike Air Max sneakers I knew she had been wanting._

" _And there is one more thing" I pulled out a card and gave it to her_

 _She opened it and read it aloud_

 _"Spencer,_

 _I love you so much, and I hope you enjoyed our holiday together as much as I did. Now I know it will be a little late of a present, but I was hoping you would take a trip with me this summer?_

 _Love always,_

 _Ashley"_

 _Spencer hurried up and opened up the piece of paper holding her second gift that held the information for the trip._

Ashley Davies- Thank you for booking your vacation with the Silver Palms Inn in the Florida Keys, We look Forward to seeing you July 7-14.

" _Baby… oh my god, you didn't have too" She said cuddling up to me_

" _I know I didn't, but I wanted to- I thought it would be nice for us to just get away together. And you know we will need it after the Spring semester coming up" I said smiling as I leaned in for a much deserved kiss on my part. (or so I thought)_

 _The rest of the night we cuddled together enjoying each other's company, until we finally fell asleep cuddling on the couch._

I was brought out of my day dream as the loud speaker came on "THE REMAIDER OF THE FLIGHT WILL BE FIFTEEN HOURS" I then pulled out a letter; I opened it up and quickly began to read

 _Ashley,_

 _Where do I even begin, you have been everything I could of ever asked for or wanted and you mean the world to me. I never thought that I could love anyone or anything as much as I love you, and I know you feel the same about me. I'm trying really hard not to be bitter about you leaving for so long, but I can't help it. I don't want to go for that long without seeing you or_ _touching_ _you, but I realize it is inevitable. Just know that I will be thinking about you every day until you come back to me. I knew from the very first date that you were gonna be the one for me, and I can't wait until you come home and we can move on with our lives together. This is just a tiny stepping stone in our relationship, and we will overcome it, just like we do everything else. Please Ashley, be safe over there and come back to me in one peace. I'll always love you._

 _Love,_

 _Spencer_

 _PS- I hope you like the picture, I know it's your favorite… it's mine too!_

The letter made me smile, I folded it back up and put it into the envelope along with the picture. I knew that these six months were going to suck, but atleast I had something to come back to... someone to come back to.

Chapter 5

I roll over in the bed, I just got up. I run my hand over the empty side of the bed where Ashley used to sleep; she has now gone for 2 months. It's hard but I'm making it by okay, work has definitely kept me busy and my mind off of missing Ashley so much. I have the worst time when I get home from school and especially the weekends. I'm the only one that's ever in the house, it's quiet and lonely… and the time in the house by myself is when I miss Ashley the most. I miss her touch, I miss her jokes, I guess I just miss her in general, but I'm making it by okay, I cuddle up on Ashley's side of the bed, I like to think it smells like her. I snuggle my face into her cool pillow, and sigh.

Eventually I force myself to get out of bed at about ten. I get up and make myself some breakfast. I'm feeling more motivated today than I usually do on Saturday mornings, I make some pancakes and throw some chocolate chips in the batter. Ashley always loves when I make her chocolate chip pancakes. Sometimes I would get up in the mornings and surprise her with them. In return I would always receive a maple syrupy kiss (or ten). Everything reminds me of her. I wish we could communicate more than we do, we send letters back and forth, and twice she has surprised me with a phone call. But on the bright side she is one third of the way done with her deployment, and I can't wait until she comes home.

I sit down to eat my pancakes, just when I finish putting the syrup on them, my stomach rumbles, it's not a good rumble either. I hurry up and dodge to the bathroom. I barely make it on time before my vomit clunks into the toilet, I grasp the edges as I heave trying desperately to get the offending liquid from my body. I slowly grabbed a piece of toilet paper and wiped my mouth off and then flushed. I went back up to my room and layed down, I was not feeling well at all. I don't know what came over me. I have dinner plans with Kyla later so I guess I can take a little nap before then.

I eventually had to call Kyla and cancel our plans. I wasn't feeling up to it. I slept most of the day, it seems the flu got the best of me. I woke up the next morning and was still sick. I hate being sick more than anything. I rescheduled my lunch date with Kyla for today. We were meeting at a little local diner that we always go to.

"Hey! How are you?" I greeted Kyla with a hug

"I'm doing pretty good, and how about you?"

" Well I can't complain too much" we took a seat in a booth near the big window. "Sorry I had to cancel on you twice now, I have gotten up the last few mornings and been really sick, I think I had the flu" Picking up the menu I began to scan through

"Pshh, yeah or your pregnant" She also started to look at her menu

"Yeah right, you have to have sex to get pregnant… hello! Wife overseas" I began to laugh, until the realization kicked in, I missed my last period a month ago, and I'm supposed to be on my period right now. Now that I think about it, I have missed two periods. Kyla must see the confusion on my face.

"Spence… you don't really think your pregnant…do you?" She closed her menu and looked at me questioningly

"Well I mean… nooooo, I can't be… can I? I haven't had sex in two months." I sat back in my chair analyzing the situation. I can't be pregnant

"You just said you missed two periods Spencer. Think about it. Ashley has been gone for two months now. You could of gotten pregnant before she left" I just looked at her "Were you on the pill?"

"Yes! I was on the freaking pill, GOD!" I put my head in my hand and sighed. "Maybe I just missed them because I have been so stressed about Ashley being gone" Im trying any thought process to think I'm not pregnant.

"Wellll, the only way to find out is to take a test" Before I knew it, we were out of the diner and I was sitting on the toilet with a tiny stick to pee on. All there was to do now was wait for fifteen minutes.

"Seriously Kyla, I can't be pregnant. Ashley would be crushed if I was"

"Spencer, Ashley won't be mad, you didn't get pregnant by yourself" She rubbed my back soothingly

DING!

The timer went off. The moment of truth. I walked into the bathroom and held up the stick. Sure enough a little pink plus sign was staring back at me. I walked out of the bathroom and Kyla was looking at me expectantly

"Welll?" She questioned

"I'm pregnant…"

"What about Ashley?"

"What the fuck about Ashley? She is over there, and I'm here, there is nothing we can do… it is what it is"

We sat in silence for a moment

"I just ugh. I just don't want to be pregnant and Ashley miss the experience" I wanted Ashley here with me right now, this was supposed to be our special moment together. Looking at the test to see if we were having a baby, but instead here I was looking with her sister.

"But I guess there is nothing we can do about it. How am I even supposed to tell her? The only contact we have is letters!" I threw my hands up in defeat

"I know it's hard Spencer, but just try and see the good out of it"

"I know I'm just upset because we were supposed to wait until she got home to have a baby, that was our plan"

"Ashley will understand Spencer… I promise she will"

 **ASHLEY"S POV  
**

"Seriously, I am so sick of this shithole, I just want to be home" I said to Aiden as we were on foot patrol

"I know I can't believe it has only been two months" I watched as Aiden kicked a rock across the dirt road

"I seriously miss Spencer so much. You know, this deployment has me thinking, and I think I'm going to get out when my time is up for my contract. You know how bad Spence wants a family, and I can't be leaving her for long periods of time like this when we have kids" I looked off into the distance, and watched as a couple kids played in the streets, kicking a ball back and forth

"Wow Ash really? You have loved the Army since I met you, I can't believe you're really thinking about it"

"I do love the Army Aid, but I love Spencer more. And I can't do this to her… or me" I could feel my heart aching just at the mention of her name

"Well you gotta do what you gotta do, you know whats best for yourself" He wrapped his arm around my shoulder

"Yeah I guess I do… and you wanna know something else I know" He raised his eyebrow at me

"When I get home, me and Spencer are not coming out of the bedroom, because her legs are going to be wrapped around me for atleast a week! And I'm serious!" I tried to lighten the mood with some humor

"Ash come on, I don't need to hear that stuff! And you know what happened last time you bragged about you and Spencer's sex life" Aiden said giving me a tiny shove, we laughed together.

 _Tonight was the night of the big party at my house, and everyone was going to be there. I was really excited, especially because I was going to invite Spencer. Every day since the first day of the semester Spencer and I sat together for our Biology Lecture class. I thought she was the sexiest most beautiful girl since I first saw her. We always flirt non stop during class but, it has never went any further than that. I definitely would like it to though._

 _I walked in my biology lecture, Spencer was already sitting down, I walked over and took my seat next to her_

" _Hey Spencer" I sat down and took out my notebook_

 _Oh hey Ashley, how are you?" She also took out her notebook_

" _well I had two test today, I think I did well on, and this is my last class of the day… then thank god, I can start my weekend" We both laughed and fell into a silence_

" _Soo Spencer" She looked over at me, I held her gaze for a few minutes forgetting what I was gonna say_

" _Yeah?" she said after we had been in a staring contest for a few minutes_

" _Oh sorry" I shook my head and looked down "Umm but anyways… there is this party tonight, and I just wanted to know if maybe you wanted to come?... actually, I would really like it if you would come" I looked up at her hopeful_

" _Well I have dinner plans with a few of my friends"_

" _Oh yeah okay I totally understand, I just thought I would invi" She cut me off_

" _But I could probably come after" I looked up at her and smiled_

" _Yeah… yeah that would be great" I had butterflies in my stomach, Spencer and I had never hung out, outside of class, but tonight we would_

 _As Class went on we stopped talking and took our notes. Forty-five minutes later class was over and we were packing up our stuff, I couldn't wait to get out of here and party tonight._

" _So don't forget the party is at the my house tonight, ummm if you want you can bring some friends" I told Spencer once I stood up and had my bag all packed up_

" _Okay, I might be a little late, but I'll be there" She also stood up and smiled at me_

" _Okay great, awesome… so I'll see you later then" I just stood there and looked at her with a huge grin on my face_

" _Yeah, umm well I should be going I still have another class" She walked past me and headed for the doors_

" _Oh right of course" God I am such an idiot, I get to nervous around her._

" _Ash, just calm down already- just have a drink, she will be here when she gets here" Aiden told me, as I kept looking at the door. It was now 11:00 the party had been going on for an hour now, and Spencer wasn't here._

" _I guess your right" I poured myself a glass of jungle juice and began to drink, I downed it and was refilling my glass already_

" _Besides, what's so great about this chick anyways?" He questioned_

" _I don't know, you just wait until you see her… she's just so fucking sexy, I wanna fuck her soo bad!"_

" _Okay, and on that note… I'm out" He walked away from me and up to the beer pong table_

" _Fuckkk yeahh! Get that shit off the table!" An hour and a half later I was Aiden's beer pong partner, we had just swept eight games in a row. I was definitely a little drunk… okay a lot drunk._

 _We high fived as we got the last ball in the cup, which put us up to nine straight wins._

" _Okay who's next?!" Aiden yelled as the other team moved away from the table. Just then I saw Spencer walk through the door, we immediately made eye contact. I put my hand up and waved at her_

" _Alright Aid, you gotta find another partner, my sexy blonde girl is here." I walked away from him and over to the door where Spencer was_

" _Hey Spencer, Glad you could make it" I didn't hesitate to wrap her up in a hug. (A little Alcohol in my system always makes me braver than I really am) "Wow Spence, you look really really good" I continued to look her up and down. She had on a black strapless dress that came to about her mid thighs. She looked beyond sexy_

" _Thanks" She blushed and looked down_

" _Here, let me get you a drink" I took ahold of her hand as I lead her through the crowd and into the kitchen._

" _Well you have a couple choices, you can have jungle juice, or I can mix you up a drink it's up to you" I pointed to our alcohol selection_

" _How about you make me something" She smiled and bit her lip_

" _okay, let's see what we have here" I shifted through the various bottles of liquor until I pulled out vodka and cranberry juice. I started pouring the vodka_

" _Oh and Ashley" I looked up at her "Make it strong" I obeyed and poured more vodka in. She would be on my level in no time. I handed her the drink and we headed back out to the main room._

 _Before long Spencer and I were both pretty drunk. I got her to play beer pong with me; we were playing against Aiden's team. Spencer really wasn't that good, but I would never tell her that. I was trying to instruct her on how to throw the ball in the cup, but it was no use. I pretty much had to carry our team on my shoulders._

" _Ughh Ash, I haven't even made one cup" She pouted "I know I suck, if you wanna get another partner I totally understand."_

" _No I want to be your partner, and you don't give yourself enough credit you're not that bad Spence… and besides, you're definitely the most beautiful partner I could hope for" This next move was bold and I knew it, but I couldn't help myself. I reached my arm around her waist and let my hand rest on her hip, and pulled her into me a little bit. She wasn't even fazed by it. We just continued to play._

 _Finally it came down to the end of the game. Our team had one cup and Aiden's team had one cup. I shot at the final cup and made it._

" _Okay Spence, no pressure or anything, but if you can make this one cup then we will automatically win._

 _She brought her wrist back and tossed the pong ball… it landed in the cup_

" _Oh my god, I can't believe I actually got one" Spencer said looking at me with a giddy expression_

" _I know! It was awesome. What a better way to make you first cup!" I pulled her into me and gave her another hug._

" _Let's go dance I whispered in her ear" She nodded, I lead her out where everyone else was dancing._

 _Spencer and I got on the dance floor. We began to dance and grind together to the fast paced music. She was in front of me grinding her ass right into my pussy, she was making me crazy. I had my arm around her waist as I guided her. She wrapped her arm around my neck and put her head back on my shoulder as she began to slowly and torturously grind into me._

" _You're so fucking sexy" I whispered in her ear, we were both drunk probably the reason for our forwardness_

 _Her next move shocked me; she turned around grabbed ahold of my neck and brought her lips to mine. I immediately started kissing her back. I'm glad that it was dark in the room, I wouldn't want to be giving everyone a show._

" _Mmmm" she moaned into the kiss, she bit my bottom lip and tugged on it, then she brought her lips to my neck and started kissing and sucking._

" _I want you so bad right now" I mumbled against her lips as I brought them back up to mine_

" _Me too" she said as we continued to kiss, they were getting pretty heated and sloppy_

" _Let's go to my room…" She pulled back and looked at me, and gave me a knowing smile. She knew exactly what we were gonna do the same as I did._

" _Let's go"_

 _Making it to my bedroom was a task in itself, we couldn't keep our hands off of eachother the whole way up the stairs. I even lost my shirt along the way._

 _We finally made it, I quickly turned and locked the door before I drug Spencer over to my bed. She layed down and brought me with her. I sat her up and brought the zipper on her dress down, and slid it off her body. I kissed my way back up her bare stomach all the way up to her neck and then her lips. It didn't take long for both of us to be naked. We were in all our drunken horny glory._

" _Mmmm fuck me already" Spencer moaned out as she broke away from our kiss_

" _I didn't waste any time doing what she asked of me. I worked my way down her body. That's where I found her soaking wet pussy, just begging to be touched. I wasn't teasing her though, we were already worked up enough._

 _I started licking her pussy, I could tell I was doing it all right by the way she was moaning and sshifting around. She put her hands through my hair and began to pull._

" _Yeah baby, lick my pussssyyy!" Spencer yelled out_

" _Mmmm you taste so good in my mouth" I mumbled onto her soaking mound before I moved back up the bed to kiss her. I started to grind our wet pussies together._

" _Oh goodddd that feeells so good!" I just kissed her_

" _Fuck me harder!" She screamed out. She was very loud in bed, and she told me exactly what she wanted… just how I liked it. I stopped before either one of us came_

" _What's wrong?!" She asked as she started bucking her hips up trying to get any kind of contact she could._

" _Nothing, but how about you let me put this in you?" I held up a 7 inch strap on. She looked at it and bit her lip before nodding her head. I quickly put it on, and I was once again in between her legs._

 _I put the dildo right up to her opening and started to put it in slowly. Until I knew Spencer was okay with the pace. Which she let me know herself that she was more than okay with it._

" _Fuck me harder..mmmm come on uhhhhh faster!" I had her legs up over my shoulders as I repeatedly pounded into her. She looked so fuckable, laying beneath me and moaning like crazy. I pulled back finally._

" _get on your knees" I demanded, she did and I smacked her ass before putting the dildo back into her._

 _I grabbed ahold of her hips and started pulling her back against me hard._

" _Do you like how I'm fucking your pussy?" I asked her as I slammed into her_

" _Ohh yeahh, giveee itt to me uhhhhh" She was grasping the sheets pushing herself back to meet my every thrust. She then sat back on my thighs and turned her head to kiss me. I reached down with my one hand and started to rub her clit for her as she continued to work herself on the dildo. We were both sweating and panting and moaning. Soon enough we both came_

 _She fell back onto her hands as she began to come._

" _Oh god I'm cumming don't stop, don't stop! Uhhhhhhhh" She let out as she came_

 _I leaned my head down and bit her shoulder as I came. It stifled out my sounds. I then collapsed on top of her and rolled to the one side of the bed. I took the strap on off, and before I knew it, Spencer and I were both passed out in my bed._

 _I woke up the next morning. My head hurt a little bit, but I expected it, I knew how much I drank lastnight. But more importantly, I'm pretty sure I fucked Spencer lastnight. My suspicions were confirmed when I rolled over and she was sleeping in my bed. We were both naked. From what I remember, it was awesome sex. I get up trying not to wake her I throw some clothes on and head downstairs._

" _There she is" Aiden replied as he looked up from his orange juice._

" _Yeah…" I looked around the place was a mess, but I expected it. Thankfully everyone was gone but Aiden, and Spencer who was still passed out in my bed_

" _So lastnight was pretty successful I would say" He told me as he handed me some of my own orange juice._

" _Yeah it was a good one, cleaning up is going to suck though" I took another look around the house, yep it was trashed_

" _Sooo" Aiden began " Where is the blonde?" he smile with a shit grin_

" _She's up in my bed…" I told him_

" _Yeah and how was that?" He is so nosey, but we tell eachother everything about our sex lives so I guess I should of expected it coming._

" _Best sex ever! She is a little kinky. Nothing I couldn't handle though, I fucked her real good. She was moaning and screaming the whole time. I'm sure she won't forget it" I had a shit grin on my face none the less, Aiden was laughing too_

 _All of a sudden he straightened up and the smile from his face was gone. I turned around and there was Spencer. I soo wasn't expecting that. She walked up to me on the stool I was sitting at._

" _Yeah and I don't think_ _ **you**_ _will be forgetting this!"_

 _SMACK!_

 _MY head flew to the side, she just smacked me across the face. Okay so maybe I shouldn't be telling Aiden all about our night. But a girl wants to brag when she lands a hottie like Spencer.. Can you blame me?_

" _Spencer wait!" After I got over the shocked of her hand to my cheek I got up and chased after her._

" _NO! I see exactly why you invited me lastnight. You knew what you wanted, well you got it. So just go brag to your friends some more" She was upset I knew it_

" _Look Spencer I know I shouldn't of said that, but it's not like that… I was just excited that it happened" I was walking fast to keep up with her, she was walking to her car._

 _When she got to her car she tried to open it, the door was locked._

" _Fuck… I forgot my keys in the house" she said surprisingly very calmly. She put her head in her hands and Sighed_

" _Look Spencer I'm sorry. It's just, to tell you the truth I have really liked you since I first met you. I honestly wish lastnight wouldn't of happened the way it did. But we were both drunk and we can't change it now. I hope you will forgive me" I said desperately She turned around and looked at me_

" _I grabbed one of her hands with mine. "I hope you will let me apologize by taking you out for breakfast this morning. I never meant any harm by telling him about us having sex"_

 _She eventually caved and went with me, it was the start of something beautiful. Who would of ever thought that the love of my life and I would of started our relationship off in those circumstances._

I laughed a little at the memory and went to catch up with Aiden. Whoever would of thought that is the girl that I would be married to at this point in my life? I certainly didn't

Chapter 6

I pulled into my parents' house the next day. I wanted to tell them the news about the baby, although I was really upset about "accidentally" getting pregnant, It was still exciting news. I walked in the front door.

"Anyone home?" I yelled out into the house

"Hey Spence, what are you doing here?" my dad asked as he came out of the living room, and came up and gave me a big hug.

"Oh I just came by to talk to you and mom, is she around?" I was looking around to try and spot my mom.

"She is actually, she is upstairs… PAULA! SPENCER IS HERE!" my dad yelled up the steps

My mom came rushing down the steps. "Hi honey, how are you?" She kissed me on the cheek

"I'm doing okay I guess, I actually came by to tell you guys something" I ushered them into the living room and instructed them to sit down.

"What's wrong Spence?" They were concerned

"Well, I just have some news… it's kind of exciting, but I'm just not sure how to take it yet" I explained

"Well whatever it is, tell us"

"Well, I am… pregnant" I looked at them. It seemed like they weren't sure on how to respond, they just looked at each other, their mouths opening and closing. They then turned and looked at me.

"That's great Spence!" my mom finally broke the silence "How though, I thought you and Ashley weren't trying for a baby?" she asked as she looked at me confused

"Well I'm guessing it must of happened before Ashley left, I'm assuming the week before she deployed. I have missed two periods, I took the test and sure enough I'm pregnant"

"Well does Ashley know?" they stared at me

"No Ashley doesn't know… there is no way I can get ahold of her besides a letter, and I just don't feel like that would be right. I mean who wants to find out they are having a baby through a piece of mail. I just really don't know what to do, I feel really over whelmed with everything that is going on" I crossed my arms and sat back on the couch.

"well why don't you come into the hospital tomorrow after work and I will get you in with the OBGYN" My parents were always looking out for me.

"I guess I can do that, I'll probably be there around 4:oo pm."

"Have you thought about any names yet? Or whether you want a boy or a girl?" My dad questioned

"No dad, I haven't. I'm honestly just getting over the realization that I'm having a baby at this point, I haven't even thought about those things yet"

"Yeah we understand Spencer, if you want you can come stay with us for a while, since Ashley is gone." Offered my mom

"Thanks, but no thanks, I just want to be home in my own house" It was a nice offer, but I'm an adult, I can be by myself.

"Okay honey, come back if you need us, or just call" They walked me to the door

"Okay thank you guys, and I'll see you tomorrow at the hospital mom" I walked out to my car and drove home

The next day I went to the hospital after work. I guess it was a good idea to start getting check-ups for the baby, I also wanted to see how far along I was.

"Hi, I should have an appointment for Spencer Davies" I told the receptionists

"Okay, and yes here it is, and you will be seeing Dr. Rosanti today. If I could just have you fill out this paper work, then we will get you in right away" I filled out the paper work and took it up.

Soon enough I was sitting in the Dr. Office waiting for her to come in. I had on a gown that they had given me to put on. I was laying down on the table with the crinkly paper beneath me. I was observing all the tools they had in the room when the door opened.

"Hi Mrs. Davies, I'm Dr. Rosanti" We shook hands

"So I hear that you are going to have baby?"

"Shocking news to me too, but yes… I guess I am" We both chuckled a little bit.

"Okay so I'm going to stick this up your vagina and it should give us a good look at the baby, how far along you are, and the babies heart beat. It might be a little uncomfortable and cold at first, so just try and bear with me here" She took the long metal thing and lubed it up, and stuck it up my opening

"Ahhhh, it's cold" I said as I jumped back a little bit

"Just relax" She spent a few minutes adjusting the tool inside of me "Okay, and here we go. Here is your baby, she said pointing to a tiny pulsating blob. And by the looks of this, you are 9 weeks along. The heart beat seams healthy" She pulled the thing out of me "And we can get you some pictures of your first ultra sound. Now I would like to see you back in a month, so I'll write it on your folder and make you appointment when you leave. You have a nice day, and I'll see you in a month" It seemed as soon as she came in she was gone. I got the ultrasound pictures, I would save everything for when Ashley got home. I am sure she wouldn't want to miss out on everthing important with the baby.

 **ASHLEY' POV**

Another week has gone by, which brings me another week closer to being home. The day's drag on and time goes so slow. I have one thing keeping me motivated to make it through this hell, and that is getting back to Spencer. It's night time and I can't sleep, everyone else has been in their cots and passed out for hours now, I have been up thinking. The sky lights up all through the night, which means bombs, are being dropped and places are being blown to pieces. I watch the colors: Red, yellow, and orange light up the sky. I have been up thinking about weird things all night. I can't help it, the stress of the situation is getting to me, I don't even know if I'm going to make it through the next day, if I'm going to be blown up or shot, everything is starting to get to my nerves. I can hear the wind blowing, bugs making chirping noises. I want to smash them all, I want to tear into everything that is making annoying sounds. I get up and start pacing around. God damn this fucking shit hole of a place, fuck the Army for putting me here. I realize it's my job, but I can't take it anymore and I still have four months left. I begin to mumble to myself

"Son of a bitchin mother fuckers, putting me here in this shit hole..."

"Ash… are you okay?" It's Aiden

"Yeah I'm fine, I was just really hot, so I got up to cool down" He looked at me and contemplated my answer

"Okayyy then, well let me know if you wanna talk or anything" He rolled back over and went to bed.

I looked out the window once again, the sky lit up in red and then orange. It reminded me of the night of me and Spencer's wedding.

" _I present to you Mrs. Ashley and Spencer Davies" We had the reception outside and luckily we got blessed with beautiful weather._

 _Spencer and I went and took our seats at the table with the rest of our wedding party. After we sat down, immediately everyone started banging their silver wear against their glasses, I knew from being at wedding before that this was for the couple to share a kiss. I got up, and Spencer put her arms around my neck. I gave her a soft loving kiss, nothing to dirty for the audience. I pecked her lips a couple more times._

" _mmm, I love you" she said as we pulled apart_

" _I love you too babe, you look so beautiful tonight" I smiled at her, I could see her blushing even though she tried to hide it_

 _The night went on and before long we got up and danced the daughter father dances, and then we came together for the couples dance._

 _I leaned in to give her a kiss, and sighed when we pulled away._

" _I can't believe we are married… I can't wait to spend my life with you" She said giving me a soft smile and a light kiss on my neck_

" _Yeah well I can't wait until our honeymoon. You me and the beach for two whole weeks. And I can't wait to see you in a bikini the whole trip" I grinned at her_

" _Oh my god Ashley, I'm trying to be romantic with you and all you can talk about is something related to sex of course" I laughed and pushed at her a little bit_

" _It's not my fault your so sexy babe… I just want you all the time, I can't help it" I hugged her tighter to me._

 _Just then I heard the sound I had been waiting for, I knew Spencer would be so excited_

 _PCHHHHHHHOOOOOOO_

 _We looked up to the sky and there was a few fireworks that had went off, they streamed all different colors as they lit up the sky._

 _The show went on for a few minutes. I only spent 400$ on them, I didn't have hundreds of thousands of dollars to spend for a huge phenomenal firework dispaly, but I knew Spencer wanted fireworks, I figured I could give her whatever I could._

" _Aww baby, I can't believe you did that for me… I love you" She pulled me into a heated kiss_

" _Yeah… do I get a special "reward" tonight then?" I asked winking at her_

" _Well that would usually be a no… but I'm not one to go against wedding rituals, sooo I suppose today is your lucky day… and something can be arranged" She leaned in and kissed me again._

The memory had me smiling. Everything was bringing back memories of Spencer and I lately. Anything that I looked at, anything I said. I couldn't get her off of my mind. I'm starting to go crazy in my head, and I know it. I want to be home. I don't want to be here. I go over to my bed and flip it throwing and kicking my shit around. Everyone wakes up at the loud noises I am making.

"This place is fucking bull-shit!" I yelled as everyone stared

"Ash, just calm down… it's gonna be okay" I pushed him off of me and straightened up my cot and sat down. I put my head in my hands.

"Fuck it, fuck everything…" I knew everything that I have seen over here, everything I have done over here. Was starting have a huge role in my life, I wanted to be home in my own bed, not some worthless god damn cot. I wanted to be home with my wife.

Aiden and I are now walking through the town, armed with our guns. Our job is pretty much to walk around and make sure nothing suspicious is going on. People busily roam the streets, going from different markets and looking at all of the shops set up alongside the road. Most people seem really happy and friendly about our presence, but there are a few I can tell want nothing to do with us, or America being in their country.

"Hey, I wanna take a look at some of these shops and see if there is anything I can get for Spencer." We walked over to the jewelry stand that was set up. We walked over and took a look at everything; I gently touched the jewelry and ran my fingers over it, looking at the different options.

"You buy?" The lady asked nodding her head in the direction of what I was looking at.

"Well I'm just looking around; I need something for my wife back home"

"Mmmm" She said in understanding "You have photo?"

"Of my wife?" I asked confused

"Yaaa" She was very stern, she wanted to see a picture, I guess I would show her one

"Oh ummm, I do actually let me get it out here" I reached into my front pocket and pulled out the envelope where I kept all of her letters and pictures. "Here you go" I set the picture down and pointed to Spencer, she looked at it. She ran her fingers over the picture of us. It was our engagement picture. We were sitting on the beach both in all white and in our bare feet. I was sitting behind her, with my arms around her waist. She had her arms resting on mine and her hands on mine as well. She was leaning back and we were looking at each other with soft smiles on our faces. Both of our engagement rings are showing. Spencer's had a 2 Ct Princess cut Diamond in the middle surrounded by 1 Ct worth of Sapphires. Mine was just a simple princess cut diamond, silver ring.

"Oh.. so pritty" Rolled off of her tongue. "you are lucky girl" I blushed and looked down." She is, and yes I am" .I mumbled in response "You stay, I have just da ting"

She came back a few minutes later carry a necklace it was silver, and had a diamond in the middle surrounded by multiple sapphire stones. It looked like it could be the matching necklace to her engagement ring.

"Oh! It's perfect!, she will love it thank you so much" I took it into my hands and observed more closely. "how much?"

"Ten US dollar" I quickly pulled out my money stash and gave her two hundred instead. No matter how much she asked for, I gave her a great deal more. I felt bad taking such a lovely piece of jewelry from her for so much less than I would usually pay.

"Oh tank you, tank you!" She said, she quickly took the money and scrambled back to show what I assumed to be her daughter how much I had given her. She spoke excitedly in a language I couldn't understand as she shook the cash in the girls face excitedly. She came back out and kissed my hand, I'm assuming as a thankyou.

"Thank you so much!" I said as I took the necklace and left. I looked at it again, along with the picture of Spencer and I. I was once again in deep thought, I was thinking of the day I proposed to Spencer.

 _We were on vacation in the Florida Keys (The same one I had gotten her for Christmas present) I had it all planned out how I was going to do propose. I had gone and met with her parents a few days before we left for the trip. They gave me their blessings to ask her and wished me good luck. Anyways back to the main story here._

" _Spence," I whispered in her ear, she didn't move "Baby wake up" I started to kiss down her neck and onto her collar bone_

" _Mmmm" She mumbled as she started to wake up. "Hey" she said as she ran her hand through my hair. I moved up to her lips and gave her a kiss_

" _Morning baby, how did you sleep?"_

" _Mmmm so good, but I was super tired" She started running her finger tips up and down my back_

" _I wonder why" I asked as though I was oblivious as to why she was tired. I knew it was because we were up having sex all night, but I didn't let her know that I was tired too. I had a plan today and nothing was going to get in the way._

" _Come on babe, let's get up… there is a lot I wanna do today." I started to roll over so I could get a shower, but Spencer pulled me back to her._

" _Nooo, not yet" She whined "Come back and cuddle with me" She was now sitting up with me, kissing all over my shoulder and up my neck_

 _I knew it would be hard, but I couldn't let her get me off track. Any other day I would be more than willing, but not today._

" _Nope. Now get up we need to get ready"_

" _Ughhh, I hate you…" She pouted_

" _No you don't, you love me" I smiled at her and kissed her cheek_

 _After we were showered, we left the hotel and headed to our destination: The aquarium. We walked around and looked at everything. I always loved going to aquariums, I loved to look at all the sea animals, especially the whales and sharks._

" _Oh look Ash! Let's go feed the dolphins!" Spencer pulled me over to where the dolphins were_

 _We went over and bought two cups of the little fish. We both fed the dolphins by tossing the little miniature fish at them, they would eat them up quickly._

" _I think this one likes me Ash" Spencer said as the one dolphin was allowing her to stroke him. "He keeps coming back to me for more, and he always wants me to pet him" She was obviously excited._

" _Yeah he must like you then babe" I wrapped my arm around her waist and pulled her into me for a chaste kiss. She then went back to feeding the dolphin._

" _That was so fun, I never did that before" She smiled at me_

" _I'm glad you liked it" I squeezed her hand. "Okay now I wanna go over here to the Oysters"_

" _Oo…kay" She said, I could tell she thought it was lame but she didn't know why I wanted to go over there._

 _We made it to my desired destination a few minutes later._

" _Okay so this is what we do, we give them our money and the divers will go down and get us an oyster. They will bring it back up. Then we open it to see if there is a pearl in there." She just looked at me " Really Spence? You have never done this before? Didn't you ever go to Sea World when you were little" I questioned._

" _umm no, and yes"_

" _Okay anyways." We walked up to the big tank where the divers were._

" _Hi, we would like to get an oyster" the man nodded, I gave him the fifty dollars and he dove down._

" _Well I hope for fifty dollars we atleast get one with a pearl in it" she scoffed_

" _Well that's half the fun, you never know what you are going to get" There was a secret meaning behind my words, Spencer didn't have a clue though._

 _The man came back with our oyster, he gave it to us and swam to another customer._

" _Okay Spence" I handed it to her "You open it" I urged_

" _Okay" She opened up the oyster and gasped "Ash?" she questioned. She got something much better than a pearl. She had a 2 Ct. diamond accompanied with 1Ct worth of sapphires in her oyster._

" _Spencer, I love you, and I want to spend the rest of my life with you… So I hope you feel the same." I got down on my knee and took the ring holding it at the edge of her ring finger. "So I'm hoping that you will take this ring, and marry me?"_

 _She nodded her head before any words came out "Yess!" She finally got out. I slipped the ring on her finger and stood up pulling her into my arms. We hugged for a long time before I pulled back and kissed her. It was one of the most passionate kisses we had shared up to that point of our relationship._

" _I love you" She whispered_

" _I love you too" I kissed her again_

"Ash!...ASHLEY!" Aiden yelled clapping his hands at me

"What?" I gave him an annoyed look

"You were spaced out there for a couple minutes"

"Yeah I was just thinking about some stuff" I looked up at him

"You have been a little off lately, are you sure you're okay?"

"Yes Aiden I'm fine!" I moved away from him, I was sick of getting the question. I wasn't fine, but no one else needed to know my business.

Chapter 7

Five months have passed, and Ashley will be home in four weeks. I couldn't be happier. I haven't told her about the baby yet, I just don't want to do it through a letter, I want to tell her to her face. I want to see her facial expression when she sees me. There is no way she won't be able to tell I'm pregnant. I'm now five months along, and very very pregnant. I have been to the Doctor several times since my first appointment and they tell me the baby is due: June 18th, I'm not sure what the sex is. I want to know but I also want it to be a surprise, I feel like in a way that if I don't know, when Ashley gets home it will be something we can share together about our baby. I love thinking about me and Ashley having a tiny little child that is part of both of us that we created together. It just seems that sharing that with Ashley will be the greatest point in our relationship. Ashley will get to spend the last three months of my pregnancy with me, which is really exciting and good, because that is probably when I will need her the most.

I have plans for when Ashley gets home, I have waited to make all the important decisions until she can help me. I want to pick out the crib and colors for the room and pick out baby names together, those are just some things I can't do by myself… well more like things I don't want to do by myself. There is one other thing I know that we will be doing as soon as she gets home. Having hot sex, and lots and lots of it. My pregnancy hormones have been going crazy, I have been so horny lately but I don't have anyone to take care of my needs. I have unfortunately had to turn to the toys in my bedside drawer. It sucks but me and Ashley WILL definitely be making up for lost time.

I actually just got letter in the mail from Ashley this morning; I tear into the paper, eager to see what she has to say.

 _Spence,_

 _I miss you like crazy. I hate it over here, the only thing that keeps me going every day is knowing that I get to come back to you. I can't wait to start our lives together, and I have decided that after this tour I will be getting out of the Army. You mean to much to me baby, I can't do this to you or me anymore… or to the family that we want to have. Life is crazy and chaotic over here, I have seen things that I would never want people to see, and I have done things that I never wanted to do. I hope that when I get home I can put this place behind me and leave it in the past. So that we, you and I, can move on with our future together. Five more weeks until I see your beautiful face again, and I can't wait. I love you more than anything in this world._

 _Your my girl Spence, and never forget it_

 _Love_

 _Ashley_

I read the letter a few times over, I didn't cry, but I just smiled. I was so happy that she would be home in five weeks. Five weeks and we can start our family together, five weeks until I get to hug her and kiss her again. Five weeks… five weeks

ASHLEY'S POV

Today is an especially hot day, I'm glad that we aren't on foot patrol. We are out patrolling right outside of the town in the Hummers. Even now the sweat is rolling down everyone's faces.

"Man this fucking sucks, It's too hot for this shit" I tell Aiden as I slap him on the stomach

"Mmphhh" He grunts out his agreement

"Just think four weeks and we will be home. You know I think I'm gonna take Spencer on a vacation when I get home. You know just take some time for just us. I think we will need it after I get back. I'm thinking maybe Mexico or the Bahamas" I begin to plan the trip out in my mind, I can feel a smile forming on my face

"Yeah, maybe me and Kyla could come along too" He perked up

"Uhh yeahh. That's gonna be a no!"

"Oh come on Ash!" He looked at me pleadingly

"No way, you guys can go on your own trip, why would we want you to go?" why would he think that we would want them to go

"I just thought it would be nice"

"Yeah maybe another time when I haven't been away for six months" He didn't reply he must be pissed off, or he realizes that no matter what he isn't going.

We rode in silence for a while. All of a sudden we heard a loud

"BOOM!"

"What the fuck was that?" I shouted

We looked ahead, one of our hummers in the front had been hit by a roadside bomb. We now had only two of our hummers left and only sixteen people. Loud gun shots started to go off in every direction.

"It's a fire fight…" I said very calmly, as I turned to Aiden

We both had fear in our eyes, I knew it.

We quickly jumped out and took cover behind the vehicles. I started to radio for backup. Shots were flying in every direction, and I knew we were surrounded.

"Fuck Ash!" Aiden yelled as he looked at me

"Start shooting!" I commanded

Everyone immediately began to shoot their guns round after round of bullets. I could tell we were out numbered

"we need back up!" I yelled to Aiden "There are too many" I could see them shuffling through the shrubs here and there, I just kept shooting.

Two of our men had been shot, I went over trying to get a pulse out of them.

"Come on Brandon! Come on, breathe, breathe!" I yelled as I pumped my hands against his chest. It was no use he was dead. I saw another one of my soldiers go down. This time it was Liz, I watched as Aiden dashed out to get her. That's when I saw one of those mother fuckers clear as day , holding his gun aiming it at Aiden Instincts kicked in and I bolted towards him

"Aiden!" I yelled as I dove to push him out of the way

That's when I felt it, a sharp pain on my left side of my stomach right above my pelvis. I gasped, my breathing was completely gone. I was now panting desperately trying to stay with it. I turned my head from left and then right. Everyone was dead, laid out all along the sandy ground. Everyone except Aiden who was right above me, he was nothing but a blur. I could hear his voice and it was far away

"Ashhh, Ashhh" I could hear how desperate how afraid he was, but I was out of it, the pain took over. His voice was slowly fading. Two men came up behind him and drug him away. My eyes shut, the pain was too much.

"Ahhhhh" I scream as my eyes shoot open and I lurched forward. I immediately brought my hand to the throbbing spot on my stomach. I looked around. Aiden was there; his face was bloodied and swollen. We were in a stone confinement. It was quiet. I pulled up my blood covered shirt, I had been shot. It looked really bad, I don't know how I made it this long, and I had to of lost a ton of blood. I winced in pain. I crawled over to Aiden

"Aiden" I shook him lightly "Aiden 

"Mmmm" He mumbled out, the pain in his voice apparent. He attempted to open his swollen eyes.

"Where are we?" I asked in a hushed voice.

He looked at me with a sad look "They got us…" he said in a low barely there voice.

His dog tags were gone. I immediately reached up to my neck. Mine were gone too. Those bastards new exactly what they were doing.

"Aiden we have to get out of here, we have to get home" He laughed a bitter laugh, losing his breath. He was in bad shape.

"It's over Ash… forget everything you know, everything you knew. We will never get out of here"

"Don't talk like that! What about Kyla?... and Spencer?" My voice faded to a whisper

"Ash they are going to kill us, why don't you understand that?!" He was angry

"Quit talking like that! What the hell is wrong with you? We never give up!" I looked at him for a long time. His eyes were shut now, I knew he was weak and so was I.

I sat next to him. Cuddled up to him for body heat, the loss of blood was making me cold I thought of Spencer. I had to make it out alive. I had to get back to her.

I was woken out of my sleep as I heard voices, I couldn't understand them. It sounded like a bunch of gibberish to me. The voices were getting closer and closer. I could now see the men approaching us through the cracks in the stone hut they had us in. I'm getting scared now, I can feel myself start to shake in fear. I gently start to push my elbow into Aiden's side, hoping he will wake up. He does, I nod towards the voices, we just look at each other. I know he doesn't know what to do either.

The wood door finally flew open. In walked three guys head covered with turbans. They drug us out of the little hut and threw us to the ground. Outside there were more of them just standing around encircling us.

They were all shouting at us and kicking dirt up onto us. I felt like this was it, they were just going to kill us right here. Then one of them yelled in their language and they all shut up.

"Ah the Americans" He said in a thick accent as he spoke English. He eyed Aiden and me up and down. He held a large thick stick in his hand running the opposite hand up and down it. Suddenly he cracked it against my arm

"Ahhh!" I yelled out in pain, as I rolled onto my side clutching my arm. He came over and started feeling around in my pockets of my coat, as he motioned the other men to do the same to Aiden. He pulled out the envelope that had all of Spencer's stuff in there. He pulled the contents out and showed them to everyone.

He started to pass pictures around to the men. I knew exactly which ones they were. In one of my letters back in the first month I was over here. Spencer sent along a few "sexy pictures" as well. She was wearing a matching black lacy bra with a matching thong. It left little to the imagination. I could feel my face heating up at the thought of other people seeing MY wife like that. Some of them took the pictures and stashed them.

"What is dis we have hur?" he said waving the picture of Spencer and I in front of my face. I said nothing but just continued to stare in anger. He was taunting me and I knew it.

"bet she will be sad to know dat you will not be coming home" I continued my glare "Such a shame, she is such pritty gurl to" He started to rip the picture, and then tossed the tiny pieces of the photo in my face.

"Mother Fucker!" I yelled not able to control my anger anymore. I spit on him

I took a few steady kicks to the stomach for that move.

"Enough get dem out of my face… now!" He shouted signaling for his men to move us. They starting getting rough with us, we were getting rough back.

"Stop!" He yelled again "Dis one stays with me…take him to da other camp" They were splitting Aiden and I up.

I broke the grasp and hugged Aiden quickly

"Aiden please! If you make it out of here. Don't tell Spencer what happened. It was quick and painless, that's all she needs to know. And tell her how much I love her" I urgently told him because the men were back pulling us apart again.

"Same for you… Tell Kyla!" he shouted as I watched him being drug away from me

I was thrown back into the stone cylinder. My life was going to be hell and I knew it.

Three days had passed. I have been in here alone with no food or water for three days. I don't know how I'm going to make it. I am quickly becoming a shell of the person I used to be. I am all alone here. I think of nothing but Spencer, and how I am going to get back to her.

My lips are chapped I know I am unbelievably pale, I can tell just by looking at my hands. I am getting sick and fast but there is nothing I can do about it. Once again I am left to think about how good my life has been with Spencer.

 _I picked my phone up and called Spencer "Hello?" she answered very cheerfully which even though it wasn't her fault, added to my headache._

" _Babyyy" I whined out into the phone_

" _Ash, what's wrong?" she asked all concerned, I have the best girlfriend and I know it._

" _Ughh, I'm so sick baby… will you come stay with me?" I pleaded even though I knew I didn't have to._

" _Yeah I'll be over after this last class; I'll stop and get you some ginger ale before I come over"_

" _You're the best… I love you" I say_

" _Love you too, see you in a little bit" she hangs up_

 _I must have passed out because Spencer woke me up when she got there._

" _Ash" I felt her lips against my cheek before she kisses my skin. "wake up baby, I brought you some soup and ginger ale" She holds out a bottle and a bowl of chicken noodle soup for me. I look at her and smile my exhausted sick smile._

" _You're the best girlfriend…. I couldn't ask for more" I take the contents from her hands and begin to eat and drink. It did actually make me feel a little bit better._

" _Thanks for coming, I know that I'm sick so if you want to leave you can" I tell Spencer_

" _No way, I'm right where I want to be" She nuzzles her face into my neck and puts her arm around my stomach. She places a few gentle kisses on my neck. Nothing sexual, just loving kisses. "You know I'll always be there when you need me, just like you would do for me"_

 _And she was right, we always did whatever we could for one another._

The memory had brought tears to my eyes that I wasn't first aware of. Not until I felt the wetness of a tear drop on my hand did I even realize that I was crying. Spencer wasn't here to take care of me this time, all I have is myself and my will to get out of here. I thought about Aiden for a second. I hoped he was okay, he was my best friend… well next to Spencer that is. I would never want anything bad to happen to him, but just like for myself I knew that the odds were not good. He was probably dead somewhere out here in this desert shit hole, the same as I probably soon would be. I'm not even sure how I have managed this long with the gunshot wound. It has actually started to heal itself a tiny bit. But it's still not good; I just hope no infection comes from it.

TWO WEEKS LATER-

I am no longer at the same place as when I was first captured, we have moved several times. I imagine because we are running from my troops, the American troops. My clothes have become a little tattered, and I know I am in bad shape, my bullet wound is still there. My body is trying to fight it off I know it but it will only keep up for so long. I am so exhausted all the time, but I keep going. I can't understand why they don't just be done with me, kill me and get it over with. But I also realize that this is how these people work, they want to brake me down, make me feel like nothing until I practically beg them to kill me. I get the occasional punch or kick, but for the most part they leave me alone. They started giving me food; surprisingly enough to keep me going they also give me water. This has been going on for a week and a half now. Sometimes I can hear jets or fighter planes in the distance, it gives me a little bit of hope that they will find me. One thing they always taught us in the Army was: never give up. I have kept that with me up until this point in my life, which has also become the worst part of my life. I am supposed to be going home in two weeks, I know I won't be though. I wonder if news has broken out about the fire fight and the deaths, I wonder if Spencer has heard anything.

SPENCERS POV

I'm tidying up the house I'm having dinner for my family and Kyla at the house tonight, Kyla is here with me, she came over to help since I can't exactly do everything I once could being almost six months pregnant now.

"Yeah I just can't believe that in only two weeks they will be back!" I gushed as I started to pull out all of our best plates for dinner tonight

"I know, but I don't ever want it to happen again. I don't like it when they are over there and we are here. We are just left to worry about them.

"Ashley actually told me in her last letter that she planned to get out after this deployment."

"Really? I never thought Ashley would ever get out, she loves it so much" She gave me a disbelieving look

"She wants us to have a family, and she doesn't want to have to worry about getting deployed all the time, she wants to be here for us" I just smiled and put a hand on my stomach

I made lasagna tonight for dinner and everyone was over, we were enjoying each other's company.

"So then the other old guy that was with him said that he tried to get it off for him" my mom was telling a story from the hospital. Apparently two guys came in and one had a tick on his butt, and the other tried to get it off.

We all erupted into laughter.

"I'll tell you… some of the things I see at that place is unbelievable.

"Spence, this dinner is awesome I must say" my dad complimented me as he drank his wine

"Yeah well, thank the pregnancy hormones! They have me cooking and making all kinds of tasty stuff lately" I chuckled to myself.

My mom put her hand over mine and gives it a little shake.

"Your dad and I are getting very excited about the baby, I can't imagine how you feel"

"I'm so excited, but I will be more excited when Ashley gets home… I can't wait, just two more weeks"

"It's gonna be the cutest little baby I know it" Kyla threw in her opinion

"Aww, I can't wait to have a little niece or nephew to spoil" Glen added in

Everyone was getting really excited, and we were all talking about the arrival of the new baby. My heart was starting to pound with excitement. I couldn't stop smiling, as my entire family rambled on and on about how excited they all were.

KNOCK! KNOCK! KNOCK! Someone was knocking on the door, I went to get up but had a little trouble because of how big my stomach had gotten.

"Ill get it Spence, just sit down" My dad told me as he got up, He was gone for about thirty seconds before he came back up. I couldn't read the look on his face.

"Hey everyone but Kyla and Spencer, you need to leave" Everyone looked at him unsure for a minute.

"NOW!" he snapped. Everyone scrambled up, thanked me for dinner and was out the door. My dad was rubbing his eyes, they were red when he looked back up at us. Only Kyla, my mom, my dad and I were left.

"Kyla… Spencer… can you guys please go have a seat in the living room?" he motioned us. We walked in and sat down in silence. My mom followed us. We all sat there without a word. My dad walked in the room and Aiden followed behind him. He was in his uniform, a blue sling on his left arm and his face was bruised all over

"Oh my god" Kyla gasped as she jumped up and hugged him tightly. I kept looking behind him waiting for Ashley to come in, she wasn't there though. I looked at my mom, then at my dad, and finally back at Aiden. We made eye contact.

"Spencer…" I could hear it all in his voice, I knew she wasn't coming back. My ears started to burn with a buzzing, my eyes started to water. I couldn't speak

"Spencer… I am so sorry" Aiden let out as he began to cry. He came over and kneeled in front of me. He pulled an American flag that had been folded into a triangle from behind his back. He set it on my lap, there was a purple heart pinned on top of it.

He must of just realized my protruding stomach. He gently reached out to touch it. He laid his hand on my stomach and began to sob.

"It should have been me, it should have been me… oh god" He wrapped his arms around me. I found slight comfort for a moment.

Finally without saying anything I got up and made my way upstairs to my bedroom. No one followed me. It finally hit me that Ashley was not coming back. I laid the flag down on Ashley's side of the bed and laid there crying to myself. What was I going to do now? I am having her baby, and she isn't even going to be here. I cried and cried. I didn't remember falling asleep.

I found out later that they had been in a fire fight, everyone died but Aiden.

The day of Ashley's funeral had come. It was on a Tuesday. I sat there as they rang out twenty-one shots in honor of her commitment to the military. I didn't budge. I was numb. My life had just been ripped away from me, everything that I knew was no longer. It was a nice day in April the sun was shining and everything was bright. But the seen before me wasn't. We didn't even have her body to burry. I guess that was okay, I wanted to remember Ashley for what she used to be, when she was here with me. There was a lot of people there, it kind of made me happy to see people there in honor of her. Everyone had left I just sat there for a little while longer thinking. I picked myself up off the chair. I tossed the roses I had down by her stone.

My dad was waiting for me to drive me home. I wasn't in a mental condition to drive. The ride was silent. When we finally got to my house, I opened the door to get out.

"Spencer" My dad said

"Yeah?" I looked at him

"This is for you, she gave it to me before she left" My dad handed me an envelope _Spencer_ it read across the front. I ran my finger over Ashley's writing. I turned and walked into the house.

I sat down on the couch, looked at the envelope in my hand and sighed. I gently started to tear it open. I pulled out a letter and began to read

 _Spencer,_

 _I hoped that you never would have had to read this, but I guess my wish didn't come true. I want you to know that I wouldn't change one second of the life we had together. You gave me everything I ever could have wanted. I hope you feel the same about me, and if not, just know that I tried to make you as happy as I possibly could. I don't want you to dwell on this Spencer (but I know you will). I never wanted anything but for you to be happy, I'm just sorry that I won't be there for us to be happy together. It is okay to be sad baby, but life will go on and you will always be in my heart no matter where I am. Don't ever double think finding someone else Spence, I don't want you to spend your life thinking about what could have been with me, but make it happen with someone else who will love you just as much as I did, and treat you well. Our time might be over in this lifetime, but we will never be over. Our time was cut short this time, but we will be together again, whether in another world or another lifetime. I'll find you again, you're my soul mate the love of any life that I live. Never forget me, but don't be afraid to move on._

 _I love you Spencer you're my girl forever_

 _Love_

 _Ashley_

Chapter 8

"MOM!" I yelled out into the room as I clutched onto my stomach. My pants and my bed are now soaked. My water just broke. "MOM!" I yelled again

She came sprinting into the room "Honey, what is it?!" She took one look at me. "Oh okay, just breathe. Let's get you up and to the hospital" We are on our way to the car

"ARTHUR! DON"T FORGET THE BAG" my mom yelled out to my dad, there is so much chaos going on right now, we are trying to get to the hospital ASAP so I can have this baby.

I moved in with my parents about a month ago. I needed to make sure someone would be there if I needed anything… Ashley isn't here anymore so, I had no choice but to move in with my parents. The days are still really hard, it's been about three months since Ashley's funeral and as expected I'm still very depressed. Here I am going into labor with her baby, and she's not here, and she will never be here. Ashley's absence is just something that I will have to deal with in time.

"Okay Spencer, you are dilated eight centimeters, the baby will be joining us very soon. We will be back to check on you in about twenty minutes" The doctor patted my leg and left.

I turned to my mom "I just want this thing out of me already.." I groaned, the pain is getting to be too much and I am super uncomfortable.

"It's okay Spence, just try and relax honey" She is dabbing my forehead with a damp wash cloth

I can't handle this anymore, I can feel the tears starting to well up in my eyes.

"Spence, don't cry, the baby will be coming out very soon" Mom is rubbing my hand reassuringly

"I'm just so uncomfortable, and it hurts, and I just want it out!... And I want Ashley here!" I yell as a loud sob erupts from me

"Spencer. I know that you want Ashley here, we all do. But we also know the reality of the situation, so please, just try to be calm it will make this a lot easier on yourself" Wiping the tears from my face my mom smiled at me "It's going to be okay Spence, and you know that Ashley wouldn't want you to be upset like this. She would want you to be as calm and comfortable and as happy as you can possibly be."

I nodded my head agreeing with her "I know that's what she would want" I wipe the last few tears from my eyes and take a deep breath trying to clear my mind.

"Okay Spencer we just need a few more big pushes, this baby is in a hurry!"

"Ahhhhhhhh!" I scream as I give them a big push, I fall back onto the bed when I am completely exhausted.

"Come on Spencer! One more push!"

"Ahhhhhh," I scream again through my clenched teeth, until finally I feel a great release from my body. I fall back onto the bed, there are tears in my eyes. Happy tears. I can hear all the fussing going on at the end of the bed and I can hear the baby crying. My baby crying.

"Congratulations Spencer, here is your baby girl" The doctor places a pink bundled up baby in my arms. I smile as I hold her for the first time. My mom and dad come over, as they look at the baby I am holding

"Spencer, she is absolutely beautiful" My mom looks at my dad, he pulls her into him as they share an excited smile.

"She looks like Ashley" I run my finger across her cheek softly as I stare at her. Her big blue eyes are staring back at me.

"Any names Spence?" My mom asks

"Yeah" I continue to stroke her face "Alexis…Alexis Ashley Davies"

ASHLEY'S POV

The days are all starting to blend together. I couldn't tell you how long I have been a POW, it could be a few months it could be a year. Nothing really seems to matter to me anymore. I have given up almost all of the hope that I have of getting out alive. I am still surprised that they have kept me around this long. It's honestly not that bad, they leave me alone; once in a while I will have to do some manual work, digging ditches or moving rocks. But things never escalade further than that. They don't speak to me either; they barely pay me any mind unless they are giving me my food for the day. I kind of like it this way, it makes being captive less realistic.

I reach down and put my hands in my pockets, I feel something but I'm not sure what it is. I hurry and pull it out of my pocket. It's the necklace I bought for Spencer. I'm not sure how I went this long without realizing that I still had it. And I'm not sure how I managed to not get it taken by the men. I thought for sure they searched all of my pockets and took everything. I guess I was wrong. Maybe it's a sign, a sign that I will get out of here and get back to Spencer. I dangle the necklace from my hand and look at it. The blue is sparkling from the little bit of light that is shining through the cracks. Keeping my hand tightly grasped around the necklace, I put it back in my pocket. I lean my head back against the rocks and close my eyes.

 _Spencer and I were lying in bed together tangled up in one another. I was laying on her chest and she was stroking her hand through my hair. I pick myself up on my forearms and look Spencer in the eyes. She pushes the hair back out of my face, and then cups my cheek. I lean down and kiss her cheek before I pull back up and look at her again. She has a soft smile on her face._

" _I love you" I whisper to her_

" _Yeah?"_

" _mmm yeah" I tell her as I put my face in her neck and nod my head_

" _I love you too" she rubs her fingers gently up and down my spine, sending shivers through my body._

" _Do you think we will be together forever?" I ask as I roll onto my side still looking at her_

" _If that's the way things are supposed to be then we will" She now switched our positions, she is now hovering above me, placing kisses on my collar bone._

" _Spence… I'm being serious. Do YOU think we will be together forever?" I have the most serious look on my face._

" _I don't know Ash, do you think we will?" She rolls off of me and onto her back as she looks up at the ceiling_

" _Yes! I think we will be together forever! I love you more than anything" I roll back onto her and pin her hands to the bed. "I KNOW we will be together forever, I don't want anyone else. You're it for me, tell me if you feel the same… please." I say letting go of her hands and bringing mine to cradle her face._

" _Yes Ashley, I want to be with you forever. You know I do, where is this coming from baby?" She asks me_

" _I just want to know if I'm in your plans for the future"_

" _Ashley, of course you're in my future. Just relax okay? There is no reason that we wouldn't be together"_

" _I know this Spence, I just don't want to lose you that's all. You are the best thing that ever happened to me"_

I am brought out of my day dream as I begin to hear loud shouts. I also hear a helicopter coming in pretty close. I get up and start to look through the cracks to see what is going on. The men are rushing around and shooting, I can see the dirt flying. Suddenly the door flies open and one of them comes in. He has a stick in his hand. He begins shouting at me. I don't comprehend anything he is saying. He then swings the stick right at my head. I don't get out of the way.

 **3 YEARS LATER**

"Spence! Did you get the candles" My mom hollers in at me

"Yes, I am getting them right now, I'll be right out." I grab the candles off the counter and head out to the patio

"Awww, look at mommy's big girl. Three years old today" I lean down and give Alexis a kiss. She quickly wraps her arms around my neck and hugs me

"I wuv you mommy" She says as she then gives me my own kiss on the cheek.

Alexis is three years old today. We are having the family over for a little get together. Just my mom, dad, brothers, their wives and kids, and Emily.

Emily is my girlfriend, we have been seeing each other for about eight months now. After Ashley died I was depressed and didn't want to see anyone. It was hard having a little baby with only one parent. My family was a huge help though. My family finally told me that I need to start seeing people again, I decided that it had been over two years. It wouldn't hurt anything. Alexis knows that her other mommy died, she asked one day at the park a few months ago when she saw all the other little kids with their moms and dads.

 _I was sitting on the edge of the sand box watching Alexis play. She looked at me with all seriousness and asked "Mommy. Why I only hab one mommy?"_

 _I looked at her, I was waiting for the day when I would have to tell her._

" _Well honey, you see… well" I stuttered a little bit, I was unsure what to tell her. She came over and sat in my lap and looked at me for an answer_

" _Well when you were still in mommies tummy… Ashley, your other mommy was overseas. She didn't want to leave but she had to go because it was her job. She got into an accident over there, and she didn't make it…"_

" _Why wud her away?" She buried her head into my shoulder_

" _Well Ashley, your mommy… was in the Army. And she went over to fight in the war. But she never got to come back" I pinched her little cheek "You look a lot like her though. She had big brown eyes and curly hair just like you… and my favorite thing about your mommy was her smile. You have her smile too" She smiled at me and I smiled back "Yep, that's the one!"_

" _Mommy, I see a pitcha of her?"_

" _Sure. Why don't we go home and we will get out some old pictures of me and mommy"_

 _I had taken down all the pictures of me and Ashley that I had in the house. I put them into a container. I didn't want to forget Ashley, but I didn't want our house to be a shrine of her. I took the container out of my closet and put it on the bed. I began to sort out the pictures and show Alexis._

" _And that was us when we got married" I told her as I pointed to our wedding picture " That was on Christmas, when your mommy came home to meet Grammy and Pappy for the first time"_

 _Alexis fingered through all of the photos and just looked._

" _You miss her mommy?" She asked as she set the pictures down and looked at me_

" _Yeah… I miss her very much" I said as I started to tear up a little_

" _Don't cwy mommy… You hab me" She came over and gave me a hug_

" _I know I do baby… I just miss her alot sometimes"_

 _I gave her a picture of me and Ashley together and put it in a frame by her bed. She asked me to; she wanted a picture of her mommies by her bed_

 _After Alexis went to bed that night I sat and looked through the pictures some more._

" _Oh Ash. I wish you were here with me right now" I said as I ran my finger over a picture of us._

We sang and ate cake, and had food that my dad cooked on the grill. It was nice that everyone could get together.

"Did you need some help cleaning up babe?" Emily asked me as she came up and put her hand on my hip.

"Yeah sure, then we can go out and have her open up her presents" I gave her a smile

"You look really beautiful today Spence" She told me as she kissed my cheek and started to kiss the back of my neck

"Ummm, Em… I just need to, get these out of the way" I said as I moved away from her to put the left overs in the fridge.

I could hear her sigh an annoyed sigh as she walked back outside letting the door slam on her way out. I pushed my hand through my hair and sighed my own annoyance. We have been together for eight months now, and I have yet to sleep with her. I know that she is starting to get upset at the fact, but I just want to make sure it feels right. I haven't been with anyone since Ashley.

"Who is ready to open presents?" I yelled to the kids who were playing

"Me, me, me" Alexis said as she jumped up and down. Cloey and Scott came running over with her as well.

"Okay so this one is from Grammy and Pappy" I handed her an envelope she tore into it, and opened the card.

"What is it?" she asked as she stared at the piece of paper. I couldn't help but laugh

"It's a savings bond, we will cash it in when you get older for money" She wasn't interested.

"Wow, how grand parenty of you guys" I said to my parents as we all shared a chuckle.

"Here Lexi" Emily said as she handed her a present. She opened it up and it was a Barbie. She just threw it to the side.

"Lexi that wasn't very nice… What do you say to Emily?" I said in my stern parent voice.

"I don't wike it!" she started to pout and put her little arms over her chest

"Alexis. You apologize right now!" I said pointing to Emily. Everyone seemed to get quiet

"NO! I hate you!" She had never said that to me before, it stung my heart. I didn't say anything, I didn't know how to act.

Emily grabbed her arm "You don't talk to your mother like that!" Alexis ripped her arm away

"I hate you, you nod my mommy! I wish my weal mommy wud here!" She ran inside, with tears running down her face

I got up to go after her, but my mom stopped me

"Spence, let me go" I nodded my head

PAULA POV 

"Alexis" I said as I gently pushed the door open to her room. She had her head in her pillow and I could hear her crying

"Honey, what's wrong, why would you act like that?" I rubbed her back soothingly

"Don't know" She mumbled

"well there must be a reason"

"I don't wike Emwy… I wan my weal mommy here" She said as she sobbed

"Well you really hurt your mom's feelings acting that way. Honey you know your mommy passed away, and your mom deserves to be happy. So can you just try and like Emily, and be nice to her?" She sat up and gave me a hug and nodded her head

"Okay that's a good girl. Now you better go apologize to your mom" She got up and ran downstairs.

SPENCER'S POV

"Mommy" I heard Alexis say as I was doing the dishes

"Mhmm?" I said as I continued to do the dishes

"Sowwy, I wuv you! She hugged my legs

I turned around and bent down to her.

" You really hurt my feelings you know. And you hurt Emily's feelings to. You know she really likes you and likes being with us. I wish you wouldn't act like that"

"Sowwy" She said again as she gave me a hug

"It's okay honey, but let's not act like that anymore."

Emily decided to stay the night with me that night. We were getting ready for bed. Emily came up to me and hugged me from behind.

"Spence… I have something I want to ask you" I turned around and cupped her cheek

" Spencer, I know we haven't been together that long, but I really love you Spence. I think you are so perfect, and I want to spend the rest of my life with you, if you will let me" She said holding my hands. She was shaking, I could feel her. "Will you marry me?" She pulled out a ring. I pulled away from her and put my hands on the dresser

"Spencer please… I know that the last few years haven't been easy for you. But I love you and, and I want you to be happy with me…" I had tears in my eyes.

"I already asked your parents. They gave me permission to ask you" I just looked at her and nodded my head.

"Is that a yes?" I nodded my head again, the tears kept coming. She put the ring on my finger and gave me a hug. I couldn't stop crying. It took me a long time to move on from Ashley, but I finally have, it's what Ashley wanted. I think this is a good move for me and Alexis. Emily is a really good person, and I love her. I leaned in and kissed her. We finally slept together that night for the first time. I forgot what it was like to make love, it had been so long. It was a nice feeling, a feeling I had missed.

ASHLEY POV

"Spencer!" I said as I jerked up. I looked around, I was in a room. A hospital room.

A nurse came rushing towards me. "Just calm down" she said grabbing my arm.

"NO! I'm not going to calm down. Where the fuck am I? Where is Spencer?" I yelled as I began to stand up

"Mam please let me explain!" She panicked as I was still trying to stand up. The machine I was hooked up to was holding me back. I ripped the IV's out of my arm.

"Where the fuck am I?!" I yelled again. I turned and glared at the lady.

"Please… Miss you have been in a coma… Can you please just sit down" I looked at her, anger in my eyes as I took a seat

"You have been in a coma for about three years here. Our soldiers found you in a camp. You had no identification on you. We don't even know who you are miss, your dog tags were even taken. We couldn't even contact anyone about you, we had no identification, your family has not been contacted" I picked up her accent, I think I am in London

"I'm Ashley Davies… Can I please get home now?" I asked desperately

"I will try my best to see what I can do, I need to go get the Doctor now and tell them that you have woken up" I nodded at the lady as she walked away

A few minutes later she came back with a man, who I'm assuming was the doctor.

"Hello Miss I'm doc…" I cut him off

"My name is Ashley, Ashley Davies. Please just let me get home. I am a member of the United States Army and I am from Los Angeles California. Please, let me get home to my family." I begged

"I understand how badly you want to get home Miss Davies, but I just need to go over your record here" He pulled out a file "You see, when you were brought in. You were bruised very badly and you had a concussion that was very severe. It seemed as though you had been stricken with an object to the head. That is what kept you in a coma for so long. You also had a gunshot wound in your side, it was infected when you came in, but we were able to treat it, even though you have a scar, it healed rather nicely. You are very, very lucky to even be alive and in as good of condition as you are. There are no lasting injuries. I would say you have been blessed by some miracle, nobody gets as lucky as you. I should be able to get you out of here and on a plane home by tonight"

I began to tear up "Oh god, thank you so much. I haven't been home in so long. Thank you for everything, but please… just get me out of here"

"Just let me make a few phone calls and we will have you out of here" He smiled and walked away. I turned and looked at the nurse who was still standing there.

"I'm really sorry about how I acted… I was just scared and I didn't know where I was or what to think. I had been through a lot on my deployment… Even though I suppose it has been three years now" She just smiled at me. I looked at her name tag. "Thank you again Julia" I said as I read her name

I can't believe that I have been in a coma for three years now. What does my family think, they must think that I am dead! Oh god, what about Spencer.

"You are welcome Ashley… now let me go get your belongings so we can get you out of here." She brought back my things, there wasn't much there. My pants, some Army sweatpants and T-shirt to change into and the necklace I got for Spencer. I picked up the necklace, and looked at it.

"It's very pretty" Julia said as she watched me pick it up and stroke it.

"It's for my wife back home… Spencer" I smiled to myself just saying her name, I was going home. I made it. "I haven't seen her in three and a half years" I looked up at her

"Well your lucky day is coming, you should be home to her by tomorrow" She smiled and began to walk away "Take care Ashley"

I was at the airport finally. I was going home. All I had was my plane ticket in one hand, and Spencer's necklace in the pocket of my sweatpants.

Before long I was sitting in my seat, which was first class. It was nice. All I have between me and Spencer is a twelve hour plane ride. I am exhausted and I quickly fall asleep in my seat.

Before I know it, my flight was landing. I slept thru the whole trip. All I had to do now was get off the plane and get a taxi home. I was anxious, I was excited, and I was nervous beyond belief.

SPENCER'S POV

"Babe, will you get up and make me some coffee please? I'm running late for work and I need to get ready" Emily says in a hurry as I see her shuffling around in a mad dash.

I walk downstairs and put on a pot of coffee, it's only six in the morning, I am never up this early. Especially since school is out for the summer. One of the perks of being a teacher. I get the whole summer off, which has been really nice the last three summers, it gives me time to spend with Alexis.

I can hear Emily coming down the steps, I poured her some coffee in a to go cup and handed it to her.

"Thanks babe, you're the best." She leans in and kisses my lips a few times. "Okay I really have to go to work, I will call you later. What do you think about me, you and Lexi going out for dinner later?" She said as she was making her way towards the door

"Yeah that sounds good, just call me" She finally walks out the door

I get myself a cup of coffee and sit down at the table. I flip through a magazine that I had sitting there. I look down at the ring on my finger. It was simple, just a princess cut diamond on a silver ring. It wasn't big, but it wasn't small. It was average I guess. I spun the ring in a circle around my finger before I put it back in place and continued to read the magazine.

ASHLEY'S POV

"247 Cherry Street please" I said as I waved down a cab

We began to get close to my house, that I haven't been at in three and a half years. I had butterflies in my stomach. The house came into view

"That house right there!" I pointed as I leaned up out of my seat. My ears were pounding

We pull up into the driveway "That will be $35.90" the cab driver says as he turns. I throw $50 dollars at him

"Keep the change!" I tell him as I hurry out of the car.

When I get to the front door, I stopped took a deep breath and tried to compose myself. I open the door and walk in. It still smells the same. Some things are different, I notice that Spencer has painted the house different colors. I walk through the house until I get to the kitchen there she is standing at the counter with her back turned away from me. She is pouring coffee.

"Did you forget something?" She must of heard me walking in

"Spencer" I say out loud. CRACK! I hear her coffee mug smash against the counter

I watch as she stops moving. She is standing completely still. I can hear her begin to breathe heavily.

"Spencer…" I say again as I take another step towards her. She slowly starts to turn around.

She finally turns the whole way around, I see her for the first time in three and a half years. My breath hitches, as tears come to my eyes. She meets my eyes, her eyes are watering too. I move towards her. I throw my arms around her and hold her close to me. We are both crying now. We hold each other for a long time without saying a word. I'm not sure how long we stood there, just holding one another. But it didn't really matter.

"I thought I would never see you again" She whispered into my neck

"I had to get back to you, you kept me going everyday" I pull back and look into her red rimmed eyes, they are puffy. I wipe the remaining tears from her face.

"You cut your hair" I said as I gently ran my fingers through her now shoulder length blonde hair. "You look beautiful, just like I remember" I tell her as I grin at her. She smiles back and snorts out a laugh, as more tears come to her eyes.

"I have something for you Spencer" I tell her as I reach into my pocket and pull out the necklace. I hold it up to show her and put it around her neck as I fasten it. She hasn't taken her arms from around my neck.

"I got it from this shop in Iraq, I knew it was perfect, see it matches your weddi…" I stop myself from continuing I hold her hand in mine and step back. Her wedding ring is no longer on her finger. But a new ring has replaced it. I step away from her. I gaze questioningly at her, pain relevant in my eyes.

"Ashley… please" she steps towards me trying to grab ahold of any part of me

"No… no Spencer… just don't" I turn around pacing

"What the fuck Spencer?!" I yell throwing my hands in the air. " I came back for you… do you even know what the fuck I went through every fucking day to get back here… back to you?!" She just looks at me as she continues to cry.

" I thought you were dead…" She whispers

"Well here I am Spencer! Here the fuck I am! Right in front of you!" I yell as I start pulling my clothes for emphasis. "But you already moved on I see!" I walk up to her and pin her body between me and the counter. "Were you fucking around on me when I was over there, before you thought I died?!" She shakes her head no. She looks scared, but right now I don't care. I am so mad. "I went through fucking hell and back for you." I pull up my shirt and show her my bullet wound "I got fucking shot, I was in a coma! I was held captive in a terrorist camp for weeks, until they found me there almost fucking dead!" I turned around "But none of that matters now… none of it"

"Ashley… I'm sorry you went through all of that. It's so horrible" She is crying, she tries to come up and hug me. I don't let her.

I'm clenching and unclenching my fists as I survey the room. Spencer sinks down to the floor as she starts crying hysterically. I am hot with anger, I can't control it. I pick up a rolling pin from the counter and smash it through the cupboard doors I keep smashing them. I keep swinging my arm, one after another after another, glass and wood are flying. I can hear Spencer sobbing and pleading for me to stop. I tune her out

"Ashley! Stop! Just please stop it!... why are you doing this?!" She is crying hysterically

I finally chuck the rolling pin into the glass container that holds the dishes. The glass shatters. I stand there breathing heavily. I look around and see what I have done.

"MOMMY!" I hear a shill cry, I turn quickly as I watch a little girl run over and jumps into Spencer's lap as she wraps her arms around Spencer tightly. She turns and looks at me, my heart stops, she quickly puts her head back into the comfort of Spencer's neck. She is scared of me, I could see it in her eyes.

"Mommy… I'm scared" I hear the little girl whisper to Spencer

"I know honey, I know. Run back up to your room and get into bed, I'll be right up" She runs as fast as her little legs will carry her, up the steps.

"Spencer… I am so sorry, I don't know what came over me… Please, I will fix everything. I just, I just" I walk towards her, she flinches away from me "I was so mad… Please baby, forgive me" I try to hug her, and pull her into me

"Don't touch me Ashley! Look what you just did! How could you do that to me, to my house?!" We sit in silence, not saying anything. I keep looking around, looking at what I have just done. I don't even know the person I just was. After a long time I look up at Spencer. She is still crying, sitting on the floor with her head in her hands

"Is she mine?" I ask referring to the little girl I saw just a few minutes ago

Spencer nods her head yes in her hands. She finally looks up at me. Her face red and swollen from crying

"When?" I ask her

"I got pregnant before you left… I didn't find out until you were gone for two months. I'm sorry Ashley. I was going to tell you when you got home… but you never came back… I didn't want to tell you through a letter"

"What is her name?"

"Alexis…Alexis Ashley Davies" Spencer told me

I walk up to her and sit down beside her. She lets me comfort her surprisingly, after what I just did

"Spencer, what about us? We're going to be together… right?" I ask, afraid. I feel like I already know the answer.

"Ashley… I thought you died, you were gone for three and a half years. It was hard, but I finally got my life back together. A life without you. And I don't know if I can be with you, look what you just did to my house, the Ashley I knew would of never done something like that. We don't even know each other anymore obviously, we have both changed, and we have changed without one another…I am engaged Ashley" She held her hand up to me

"Spencer… we have a daughter, please you're the love of my life. Don't do this! I'm back okay, I'm back and I'm not leaving again. I'm done with the Army, I'm out. Please be with me, let us have the life we wanted together. I can meet our daughter, I can get to know her. We can be the happy family we always wanted." I pleaded with her taking her hands in mine "Give me a chance Spencer, give us a chance… we deserve it, our daughter deserves it."

"It's not that easy Ashley. I'm engaged… and I love her" Spencer is frantically shaking her head, still crying.

"I know it's not going to be easy, but we can at least try Spencer… can't we?" I begged

"I'm sorry Ashley" She turned away from me

"Spencer! You were all I ever had, your family, you, Kyla and Aiden. You know I don't have anyone, where am I supposed to go? I have no one!" I told her as she kept her back turned to me

"You can stay here Ashley, until you find a place to go. You can stay in the guest room, I'll make it up for you"

"Spencer" I said as I grabbed her hand as she walked away, I pulled her back to me "Please can we just go sleep in our bed… I just want to hold you, please… I still love you"

"Ashley, you know I will always love you… but it just can't be the same love it used to be"

She grabbed ahold of my hand, and lead me upstairs to our bedroom. We got into bed, and I wrapped my arm around her. Everything felt okay in that moment. I could wait until later to figure things out, just as long as I have this moment with her. I fell asleep snuggled up with Spencer, it was the best sleep I have had in three and a half years.

I woke up and realize that Spencer wasn't in bed. I sat up and looked around. I can't believe I am actually here. I glance at the clock it reads 1 pm. I slept for a good six hours at least. I got out of bed and started to make my way down the steps. I saw Spencer on her hands and knees sweeping up the glass that was all over the floor. Guilt flushed through me as I watched. The little girl was sitting at the table eating a sandwich.

"Spencer" I said softly as I approached her. I lean down and try to take the dust pan out of her hand. "Let me do it." She looked up at me and continued sweeping.

"It's fine Ashley. Nothing new, you make the messes and I just get stuck cleaning them up" I know she is hurt about how I acted this morning.

"I'm going to fix everything Spencer, I promise" I pleaded with her

"Okay" She looked at me " You fix all of this" She motioned towards the cupboards. "And then I might think about forgiving you" She continued sweeping up the rest of the glass

"Well… can you maybe think about us too?" I followed her to the trash can. I got close to her and put my hand on her hip.

"Ashley" She sighed and took my hand from her waist. " I already told you what is between us" I looked away. "But that doesn't mean you can't try and have a relationship with your daughter" She pointed to the little girl that was sitting at the table now coloring.

I turned and walked timidly towards the little girl. I took a seat next to her slowly

"Hello" I said as I sat down next to her

"Hi" She replied as she continued coloring in her book

"I'm Ashley… I'm glad I finally get to meet you"

"You my mommy?" She questioned me as she finally stopped coloring to look at me.

"Yes I am… I would like it if we could get to know each other better. Would you like that?"

'Want to cowar wif me?" She shoves a crayon in my hand

"Yeah, I would love to" We colored for a little bit, and she talked the whole time.

She told me about her Barbie's, her Grammy and pappy, and how they took her to the zoo last week. Everything that I missed out on. At least I am here now.

"Show you my room" Alexis said as she grabbed ahold of my hand and started pulling me towards the steps

"Wow, your room is very nice" It was a light green color, and her bed was tiny with a pink comforter. It was very clean, which I'm sure is mostly Spencer's doing.  
I sat down on her bed as she shuffled through her toys. I looked on her night stand and saw all the pictures. I picked one up it was Alexis, Kyla and…Aiden. I couldn't believe it, he is alive!

"That uncle Aiden an aun Kywa"

"I know, Kyla is my sister" I picked up another picture. It was of me and Spencer.

"Mommy gave to me" I couldn't help the small sniffle I got looking at the picture. I had missed so much of my life. Time I would never get back.

"You wuv my mommy?" She asked me staring at me with her big brown eyes

"I love you mommy very much" She sat in my lap and hugged me. She warmed up to me quickly, just as a normal three year old would. Even after this morning and how scared she was, she still didn't even act like she remembered what happened this morning.

"She have girlfren. Emwy, I don't wike her" She leaned up and kissed my cheek

"You be my mommy?"

"I would love to be your mommy. We can spend some time together, and get to know each other better. Would you like to go to lunch with me tomorrow?" I pushed her hair out of her eyes.

"Yessss!" She squeeled and started to giggle.

We played for a little while longer. I decided to go see Aiden and Kyla. No one but Spencer knows that I am back. I don't want a lot of people to know yet, just Kyla and Aiden. I don't even want Spencer's family to know, I just want to hold off on the questions and the real world for a little bit.

"Spencer, I need my car keys and my purse" I said as I walked into the living room. She was watching TV

"Ashley… I sold your car" She turned the TV off and looked at me

"Why would you do that?"

"Ashley, why can't you understand that we thought you were dead?!" She threw her hands up

"Well what am I supposed to do? Are you going to let me take yours?" She was shaking her head at me

"I don't think you are in any position to be driving" She shot me a look

"I just want to go see my sister Spence, let's not make this more difficult than it needs to be"

"Ashley, I don't think you understand what you did this morning. Did you see what you did to my kitchen?! That is not normal Ashley, you are not okay, and I will not let you drive!" she was standing and yelling at me

"Spencer" I said with my teeth gritted "Just give me the god damn keys!" I was now standing inches away from her.

"No" She said simply and turned away from me.

"Fuck you Spencer!" I was now following her. "I'm back okay… I don't think that you understand what I went through. I haven't even been back for a day and look how you are treating me!" I continued to follow her "I might as well of just fucking died Spencer! I come home and you won't even be with me. I know you're still in love with me, just like I'm still in love with you!"

"Keep your voice down, I don't want you upsetting Alexis again!" She whispered harshly at me

"And you know what Ashley, you come back into my life after I went years thinking you were dead. How can you expect things to be like they were before you left?... And you are the one who told me to move on and that it was okay, I read your letter Ashley. I moved on, we are not together anymore…" She looked away. She had her back to the wall as I stood in front of her

"Fuck Spencer!" Tears coming to my eyes. "Why are you lying to yourself?" I put my hands on either side of her head.

"I'm not lying to anyone… you just can't accept it"

"Ahhhhh!" I screamed out my anger turning away with my hands on my hips "Fuck!" I screamed again. My fist were starting to clench and unclench

"What are you going to do Ashley? Smash something? You wanna keep smashing my fucking house up?!" She was getting in my face. I took ahold of her hands and pushed her back against the wall. Pushing my body into hers. My lips were only centimeters away from hers. I continued to push my lower body into hers. We were having a staring match. I finally leaned down and brought my lips to her neck and started to kiss it. She put her hands in my hair, as she started to moan softly, just like she used to. I moved up to whisper in her ear.

"I want you so bad right now" I began kissing her neck again, and I finally brought my lips to hers. She kissed me back for a few seconds. I then felt her stop kissing me, I pulled back to look at her, she looked away.

"Yeah for someone who doesn't love me anymore, you were enjoying yourself it seemed." I said as I tried to kiss her again.

"Ashley…" She gently pushed her hands against my chest "Just stop. You have to let me go"

"Never… And as far as I'm concerned, since I am now back and didn't die, everything is still partially in my name. I own half of everything. And technically you and I are still married. And I refuse to sign the divorce papers so that you can go marry some skank!" I pushed off of the wall.

I turned my head. I heard someone calling her name "Spence! Spence baby, where are you?" I see her walking up the steps looking at Spencer.

"Hey babe, ready to go?" She comes up and tries to kiss her but Spencer turns her head so she just gets her cheek. She nods her head in my direction

"Oh, hi, I'm Em…"

"get the fuck out of my house" I tell her calmly

"Excuse me?" She looks at Spencer, asking for some sort of an answer or defense

"Spencer can't save you here, it is MY house, now get out!" I point towards the stair case

She didn't move, she just looked at Spencer. She still had her arm around Spencer's waist.

"While you're at it, you can also get your hands off of MY wife" I emphasize for her

"what's going on Spencer?" she looked at her for an answer

"This is Ashley"

"Ashley, Ashley?" She must of heard about me, and our story

Spencer shakes her head yes. She pulls Spencer to the side so I can't hear what she is saying.

SPENCER'S POV

"What does this mean for us Spencer?" Emily asks me quietly

"Nothing is going to change, we are going to get married and be together"

"Does she know that… did you tell her Spencer?"

"I already told her… she knows" I look back at Ashley who is glaring at us

"Well…are we still going tonight?"

"Yes, just let me get Alexis"

"Lexi! We are leaving!" She came running out of her room.  
"Weaving?" she asked, a barbie tucked under her arm

"Yes, you, me, and Emily are going out to eat"  
"NO!" she yells and runs over and hugs Ashley's legs. "Not going"

"Alexis Ashley Davies! You don't tell me what you are or are not doing, I am the parent here"  
"Staying wif mommy" She tells me, Ashley bends down to pick her up

"Atleast one of my girls is smart" Ashley comments

"Shut up Ashley, and stay out of it"

"She is my kid to Spencer! If she wants to stay with me, she can. It's her choice"

"This is great, not even one day, and you guys are already like this" I cross two of my fingers one over the other.

I know I'm not going to win this battle. I guess it wouldn't hurt for Alexis and Ashley to spend some time together. I sigh and give in.

"We are going out to dinner… Ashley, please… take care of her" I tell Ashley before we leave

"I will Spence, I promise"

I go over to Alexis and give her a hug and a kiss before we leave. " You be good for Ashl, your mommy" I tell her before we leave

ASHLEY"S POV

After Spencer left, I knew that I had to get new cupboards for the kitchen. I went up to our room, and checked the spot. Ahh yes! It was still there. I had a secret stash of cash that I always kept in case of emergencies. Spencer didn't even know I had it.

I look at Alexis "Well, since I don't have a car, I guess we are calling a taxi" I tell her as I put her back down after Spencer leaves.

"Where we going?" She questions

"We need to go get some new cupboards for the kitchen" I point at them, she sees how they are all smashed

"Why you do dat?" She looks at me

"I was mad, and I should of never done it… there is no excuse for it"

"Ss not nice" She tells me with every ounce of authority she can give me. I can't help the smile that breaks my face

"No it wasn't nice… that's why I need to fix it. Then your mommy will be happy" I call a cab and we are on our way to the next closest furniture store

"Okay I'll take these ones, and I need eight of them" I tell the guy at Home Depot "And I need them installed ASAP… if you can do it today, I will pay extra" He nods and goes to talk to his manager

"Okay mam, we can do it today for an extra charge of $200" I nod at him, and give him the address

They bring the cupboards to the house and put all new in, in less than an hour,

"okay thank you guys so much" I tip them each $50 for their service

I take a look around after they are finished, they look nice. Better than the last ones

"Do you think your mom will like them?" I ask Alexis who I am holding against my hip

"They nice" she says nodding her approval

I'm not sure what time Spencer will be home, but I am anxious for her arrival. I don't care what it takes, I will win her over again.

"Do you want to play a game?" I ask Alexis

"I wan to pway the Wii" She tells me as she leads me into the room. She is a great little girl, Spencer did a good job raising her, I am proud to say she is mine even though I had no part in her up bringing. We are playing the Wii it is now ten at night, I watch as she yawns.

"Are you tired?" I ask her

"Mhmm" she tells me

"Okay lets get you to bed" I carry her up and tuck her into her bed

"Wead a story?" She asks and hands me a book

Half way through the story she is fast asleep. I kiss her on the cheek, and head to me and Spencer's room. I climb into the bed exhausted. I still can't believe I have been home less than a day. I get into bed and pull the covers up over myself.

SPENCER'S POV

"So you are telling me that right after I left this morning, she just showed up at the house? I mean she has been gone for three years or so, and they had no idea she was still alive?" I shake my head

"I guess not, we didn't really talk about what happened too much. We have been fighting almost the whole time she has been back" I tell Emily

"Spencer… regardless of what happened today, you can't be fighting with her. I mean, I can only imagine what she went through the last couple of years"

"No okay! You didn't see how she acted this morning. She wasn't the same person I married and loved. She changed, and it wasn't for the good" I defend myself "And besides, who's side are you taking anyways?"

"I'm not trying to take sides Spencer! I mean your wife…ex-wife… whatever she is! Just came back from one of the most traumatic experiences anyone could go through. I think you need to cut her some slack. You should be happy that she is alive Spencer."

" Look. This isn't easy for me. I thought she was dead for years, and then she just shows up and expects things to be perfect again. I learned to live without her. I learned to love again." I put my hand over hers, showing her my engagement ring

"I know Spencer, and I'm glad that we are together, but that doesn't mean you put Ashley on the back burner. You have a kid together, you spent a lot of years of your life with her. How do you think you are making her feel? She just came back home after three and half years away, she was expecting everything to be the same, expecting to come back home to her wife, and the life she left behind."

"I'm just scared" I tell her truthfully "She was ripped away from me so fast before, what if we were to get close again? What if something happened to her again? I couldn't handle going through that twice!" The truth comes out "I will never love again like I loved Ashley" She doesn't look hurt by my confession, I think she understands. She looks like she is thinking, she doesn't say anything for a few minutes.

"Of course you won't Spencer, she was your first love, she was your everything." I just look at her and nod my head. "Spencer… you know… I think it would be best if we call off our engagement"

"What?! Why?!" I start to panic

"Spencer I love you, but I don't want to hold you back from loving Ashley. I know you are still in love with her. You will never stop loving her, and that's okay… I think that's how it is supposed to be." She smiles a sad soft smile at me " I love you enough to let you go" I know she is right

"Spencer" Emily lifts my chin up too look at her. "Most people, who go through what Ashley went through, would never make it back home. She came back for you, she survived for you. Whether it was a miracle, or just luck she is here. Take advantage of what life is offering you. You are getting another chance to be with the love of your life, something that so many people would do anything for" I pull her into a hug

"Thank you for everything, you were so wonderful" I cup her cheek as I thank her

She kisses my cheek and walks away from me. I watch her go until she finally walks out the door

ASHLEY'S POV

I am awoken later that night. I look at the clock 12 am it reads. I sit up as I hear Spencer come into the bedroom

"Where is your "girlfriend?" I question her

"Ummm. She uh, she decided to go home tonight" I watch as Spencer starts to undress for bed. I can't take my eyes off of her. She sees me looking at her through the mirror. She stops and looks at me

"You can sleep in the guest room Ashley" She tells me as she comes over to get in the bed

"No Spencer… I think I'll sleep here. I mean it is MY bed too" She rolls her eyes and gets into the bed. I move towards her

"Did you see the new cupboards?" I ask as she settles in

"Umm yeah I did… they look really nice actually, thank you" We are quiet for a while until she speaks again

"Did you have a nice time with Alexis today?"

"I did. She is really great Spencer. You did an amazing job raising her so far" I wrap my arms around her waist and cuddle into her

"Ashley…" She sighs

"I know, I know Spence… we aren't together anymore, but that doesn't mean that I don't still love you and want to be with you" I tell her putting my face on the back of her neck and kissing it

"We aren't together Ash." She rolls away from me a little bit

"Spencer please, I never wanted anyone but you, don't do this to me"

"Ashley… let's just go to sleep… please"

I pull her back into me. She doesn't pull back this time, but instead allows me to cuddle up to her

"I love you" I whisper to her

We fall asleep together

SPENCER'S POV

I realize that Emily and I aren't together anymore, but I don't want to tell Ashley just yet. I want to just get used to her being around again, before we start to work on us. I know Emily was right; Ashley is the love of my life. I believe that she made it home for a reason. She came back for me.

I get out of bed, Ashley is still sleeping so I am trying to be quiet and not wake her. The last two nights felt nice, just sleeping next to her and being wrapped up in her arms. I guess I can actually admit it now since I am no longer engaged. I walk into the bathroom, brush my teeth and wash my face. I look down at the ring on my finger, I take it off and spin it around between my fingers just looking at it. I walk back into the bedroom and put it on my dresser. I kind of smile as I set it down, I am sad that Emily and I aren't together anymore, but at the same time I guess I'm a little… shall I say relieved? Now I know it's okay to try with Ashley. I know our relationship is not going to be easy to fix, but it's worth a try. I realize that Ashley doesn't mean to be fucked up in the head right now; she needs to go talk to a specialist. It's hard because we have been apart for so long, I am just scared to lose her again. I need to talk to someone, I think I will call my mom.

"Hello?" I hear my mom's sleep filled voice answer the phone

"I'm sorry mom, were you sleeping?" I apologize; I forgot how early it is

"Yeah, I worked a late shift at the hospital last night, I got home at four this morning… what time is it?" I look at the clock

"It's seven thirty. I'm sorry mom. I didn't mean to wake you, I just really need to talk"

"It's okay honey, is everything okay?"

"Well, no not really. I just, yesterday everything got pretty… I don't know, crazy? And amazing, and scary and everything is just spinning in my head" I am not exactly sure how to explain everything

"What's going on Spencer, is everything okay with you and Emily?" She asks quickly, I can tell she is concerned

"Well yesterday morning, everything was normal. But then… you are never going to believe me… but yesterday" I don't know why this is so hard for me to say

"What is it Spence, what happened?"

"Ashley is back" I tell her slowly

"Spencer… are you sure you're okay? I'm going to come over. You're not feeling sick or anything are y…"  
"Mom! I know it sounds crazy! But I am telling you Ashley is home… she is alive"

"Oh my god" I can hear my mom saying my dads name in through the phone "Arthur, Arthur wake up! Spencer is on the phone, she just told me that Ashley is alive and home" I hear her tell him

"Mom..." She isn't on the phone listening to me, she is still talking to my dad

"MOM!" I yell into the phone

"Sorry honey, I was telling your father… we want to come over"

"Well I'm not sure if you should"

"Why? Did something happen? Did you tell her about Alexis?" Questions, questions

"Ashley is a little… well she is just different than usual. I think she has Post Traumatic Stress. And yes she knows about Alexis, they spent some time together yesterday. They really took a liking to one another"

"That's terrible, how is she acting?" my mom is concerned

"She get's really tense and angry. If I tell you this mom, you can't be upset with her. I know she is just a little out of it, she can't help it… but yesterday morning, when she saw my engagement ring she got really mad. It was like a whole new person took over her body. She smashed all of the kitchen cupboards with a rolling pin."  
"Oh, I don't even know what to say"

"Well she replaced them immediately, but it was so scary mom"

"So she didn't take you being with someone else very well… I can understand that, but Spencer her smashing things up, I'm not sure how I feel about that. Are you sure it's safe for you and Lexi to be around her?"

"Mom, I know Ashley would never hurt me, or Lexi… if I know anything I know that." She knows just the same as I do "But there is something else… Emily and I, well we aren't together anymore, the engagement is called off " I sigh into the phone

"Well honey, that is a tough situation. I understand completely why you would do that, I mean, If Ashley wouldn't of died… well I mean, went missing for all that time, you would still be together. Even though I like Emily, I think it's for the best. You and Ashley are good together"

"I'm not the one who called it off, Emily did. She said she didn't want to hold me back from loving and being with Ashley. She was right though, my heart would have been with Ashley if we would of went through with the marriage." I explain "Now I just really need to work on us, and Ashley needs to get help. She needs therapy"

"Well, I can't imagine she had an easy time over there" She agrees

"You are the first person that knows she is back, no one else knows. I want to have the family over tonight for dinner. I don't feel like talking to anyone about it. So just call and tell everyone to come over at about six to my house. Clay, Glen, Kyla, Aiden…everyone. Will you call them for me mom?" I plead

"Sure honey"

"Thanks mom, I'll see you at six. Love you… bye" I hang up the phone. I look around. I can't believe what is happening right now. Ashley is really home, I think the reality is now just hitting me. She is here… in our bed, just like how it used to be. I think I will make chocolate chip pancakes for her breakfast.

ASHLEY'S POV

I wake up, and again Spencer isn't in the bed. I just lay here for a minute. I finally get out of bed, brush my teeth and head out in search of Spencer. I see her in the kitchen cooking over the stove

"Hey" I call out gently to her as I walk up beside her

"Hi" She says back cheerfully, giving me a smile. I'm not sure what has changed with her this morning and why she is being nice. But I won't complain.

"What are you making?"

"Your favorite"

"Chocolate chip pancakes?!" now I'm excited

"Yep, you guessed it… Why don't you get out the syrup and butter, and set the table. Will you do that for me?"

"Yes. Of course I will… umm, is everything, still where it was before?" I ask as I motion around with my finger

"Yeah, same as always" I get the table set and Spencer brings over a plate of pancakes and sits down across from me.

"Is Alexis still sleeping?" I ask as I put a few pancakes on my plate

"Oh yeah… we probably won't be seeing her until about eleven or so, she sleeps in like crazy" She laughs and reaches to get her own breakfast. When she reaches over, I notice the ring that was on her finger yesterday is no longer there. I quickly reach out and grab her hand. I rub my thumb over her empty ring finger.

"Spencer?" I question her, I'm trying not to get to excited

"Well… the engagement was called off. It was just the best for both of us we decided. We uhh, well we aren't together anymore" She looks up and holds my gaze. I'm grinning like crazy and I can't help it

"Wow umm, I'm really sorry to hear that Spencer…" She shoots me a look "Okay, so I'm really glad, now we can be together an…"

"Ashley… this still doesn't mean we are together. I mean we aren't just going to be together just because I am single now. We have some things that we really need to work on… and I would really like it if you would see a therapist. I feel like that would be the best move for you" I look down and begin to poke at my food. She puts her hand over mine "For us" She says

"Whatever you think I need to do, whatever we need to do, just tell me Spencer… I'll do anything, anything you want me too" She squeezes my hand and nods at me

"Okay, I will make you an appointment tomorrow to get you in as soon as possible" I nod at her "Oh and I invited everyone over for dinner tonight, I just thought you might want to see everyone and they will want to see you"

"Uhh, yeah, I guess that would be nice" I'm not really sure what it will be like to see everyone. I really want to see Aiden, I know that he will understand, he has been through it too.

It's five thirty now, Spencer told me that everyone will be here at six for dinner. Right now I am just helping her make dinner, and get things ready. Lexi is in the living room watching cartoons

"Ash, will you please mash the potatoes? They are going to be here any minute and I still have so much to do" I just nod at her and get the mixer out. I start to mash them. The sound of the mixer running sounds like a machine gun that never stops firing…

 _I am standing looking around, everything is in slow motion, gun shots are sounding everywhere. I watch the blood fly from the bodies of my fellow soldiers, and my friends. They fall to the ground slowly and lifelessly. I can't do anything to help them, their eyes are black, the eyes of the dead. Reaching out to me for help, but I can do nothing. I hear their cries "Ashley, Ashley, Ashley"_

"Ashley!" I am brought back out of my thoughts. "Ashley" Spencer says again "I think the potatoes are mashed now, you have been blending them for ten minutes" I just turn to her and smile a thin tight lipped smile.

"Yeah, just let me put them on the table" I hear a knock at the door

"I'll get it" Spencer tells me. I start to panic. Okay Ashley just act normal, like you haven't been away for so long I tell myself. I start to pull at my clothes, I don't know what to do how to act. Ashley just act like you always did, okay okay, I get it, just like normal.

I hear Kyla's voice, she is talking to Spencer, they are laughing about something. I see them enter the room. Kyla stops dead as she sees me.

"Hi" I give her a small wave. I'm just trying to act normal. I see Aiden walk in. He just stops and looks at me the same. "Well, what are you guys doing just looking at me like that? Get over here and give me a hug!" I tell them. They both start to cry, as the walk over to me. We envelope into one big group hug.

"Oh god Ashley. Are you seriously here right now or am I dreaming?" Kyla asks through her tears.

"It's really me, I'm here. I'm back. For good" We continue to hug.

It was the same story for everyone that came over. They couldn't believe I was back. But no one ever asked me about what happened. Which was fine, I didn't want to talk about it anyways.

We are all sitting around the table getting ready to eat now. I am sitting by Spencer, and Lexi is sitting next to me in her booster seat.

"Wow Spencer this looks really good" Her mom says as she cuts herself off a piece of meatloaf.

"Well, I try" She smiles at her mom

Things are a little tense and awkward around the table, I can feel the tension.

"Aunt Ashley" Cloey says, she is so much bigger than the last time I saw her. "I thought you died?" Everyone stops what they are doing

"Cloey!" Her mother scolds her

"Umm, yeah." I think back to when I got shot

 _I jump to push Aiden out of the way. The bullet slams right into my side. I lose my breath. The pain is unbearable. I think I'm dying._

I feel Spencer put her hand on my thigh, which snaps me out of it.

"I didn't die… I just went through a bunch of fucked up shit" I tell her

"Ashley! Watch your mouth. There are children at the table" Spencer whispers harshly to me. I sit in Silence. Right now I wish that I didn't have to learn how to act like a normal person again. Tension fills the table again. I just don't think anyone knows how to approach me or talk to me.

"CLANK!" I hear something. I immediately push my chair back, and Cover Spencer's body with my own. As I take us both to the floor.

" _Ashley, Ashley. You have to get up come on! Aiden yells at me as the I lay in my blood that is gushing from my side. Please Ash… get up!"_

"Get up Ashley, what are you doing?" Spencer asks me. I finally realize where I am again.

"Didn't you hear that?!" I ask as I look around

"Scott just dropped his class on the floor Ashley… it's okay" I get up, everyone is just looking at me. I am embarrassed. No one says anything.

"Well everyone. I'm sorry about that." I motion towards the stairs. "I think I'm just going to head up to bed. I have embarrassed myself enough for one night. Thank you for coming" I start to walk up the steps.

"Ashley" I hear Spencer coming after me.

"Please just stay down here. It's okay, you don't need to feel embarrassed. It's just our family Ashley. They know what you have been through"

"No they don't Spencer! Nobody knows what I went through! No one! I know everyone thinks I am a fucked up freak. They just don't want to say it" I turn to walk away from her

"Ashley, please don't do this… I love you" I stop and turn back around. That is the first time she has told me she loved me since I have been home.

"Do you? Or do you just feel sorry for me now. Just like everyone else?" I question. I put my arms around her waist.

She reaches up to cup my cheek. "Ashley. I love you… I know this isn't easy for you. But you will get through it, we will get through it, together" She leans up and kisses me gently on the lips.

"Will you please come back down and eat with us?" I nod my head yes. She takes my hand and leads me back down. I guess everything will be okay for now. Just as long as I have Spencer by my side.

 __ **Chapter 9**

"The day after we got split up they found the camp, and that's when I got to come back. If only they would of never split us up then we would of both been home a long time ago" Aiden tells me as we sit and talk outside. Just the two of us.

"Yeah if only… when you came back, did it take you awhile to get used to life again?"

"No. I mean it was hard to cope with what I saw and everything, but it didn't take me long. I realized how lucky I was… I'm only alive because of you Ash. You pushed me out of the way of that bullet" He explains.

"I know Aiden, but that's what friends do, we watch out for each other. We have to have one another's backs" He nods his head

"Spencer wants me to go see a therapist. I don't know how I feel about it, but if that's what she wants, then that's what I'm going to do. I'll do anything to make things right with her, get back into her life like I want to be"

"She had a really hard time when you didn't come back. You know, with having a baby by herself and everything. It took her a long time to snap out of her depression. She loves you a lot Ashley. Just give her some time, and things will work out"

"If you could have seen the way I acted Aiden, I know that it was fucked up, but I couldn't help it, I was so mad. I just kept smashing the kitchen up. I'll be surprised if she ever trusts me completely again" I put my head in my hands "But I can't believe that she was seriously engaged… what the fuck? That hurt more than anything, to think that she found someone that she loved enough to marry that wasn't me. I know that I told her it was okay to move on… but I never expected I would be back after she read that letter"

"It will take time Ash… everything great takes time. And just so you know, she never loved Emily like she loved you, she never could" I know he his right

"I'm scared I will never be okay again. I have been having flashbacks of everything all day. Seeing people die, getting shot… everything. Sometimes I think it would have just been easier to die" He grabs ahold of me and makes me look at him

"Don't you say that Ashley! That would have been the easy way out!" He shakes his head at me "You have a really great daughter… and a wife that regardless of how she acts, still really cares about and loves you"

"Why does it have to be so hard though? Why can't I just forget? I want to move on with my life already!"

"You can't just forget something like that Ashley. It's a part of you now, but things will get better, I promise. And you know that you have Kyla and I if you ever need anything" I lean in and hug him. He is the best friend I could of ever asked for.

Xxx

It's been two weeks, and I'm sitting in a therapy session that Spencer set up for me. Things have been good between us for the last couple of weeks, just getting used to each other again. A few light touches, a few kisses here and there. Nothing to intimate, but we will get there sooner or later I hope.

"So I understand that you were in the war in Iraq?" The therapist asks me

"Yes" I nod my head

"Can you tell me about it?" He stares at me with his pen in his hand as though he is studying me like some project

"Not much to say… it was fucked up… now I'm fucked up" I don't really like to think about it

"Your wife said that since you have been home for a short amount of time, that you have a really bad temper, bad mood swings, unpredictable behavior. She also told me that you have been somewhat… destructive?"

"Uh yeah… I just get mad" I tell him

"Mrs. Davies" He sighs and takes off his glasses as he looks at me "I can't help you if you aren't willing to open up and talk about this with me… now please. Elaborate on your time in Iraq" I take a deep breath and sigh. "Well when we were over there, it was hell, everyday it got worse and worse. That's when I started noticing my temper getting worse" I looked up at him he nodded to continue. "I would get so mad, because I missed Spencer so much, she was all I ever thought about."

"mhmm. And tell me how your temper went off over there?"

"I would get mad or upset about just being there. I would kick, and smash stuff, trash my cot and the area where I stayed. I hated it"

"Okay. What else happened" He urged with his hands

My mouth becomes dry as I try to speak. I take a sip of my water so I can continue. "My entire platoon was killed… shot down right in front of me… I tried to help them, but I couldn't… God I couldn't save them! I swear I tried!" Tears come to my eyes "There was just so much blood, it just poured out of them, and they just laid there not moving. Everyone died but me and Aiden… they took us though, before we were rescued, I was in the camp for weeks, I couldn't tell you exactly how long" I looked away I can't bear to look at him. I feel too much guilt. I stand up and start to pace.

"And then I get home, finally after so long… and my wife treats me like fucking shit!" I meet his eyes again

"Why do you feel like she treated you badly?"

"When I got home it was fine for the first little bit… little bit being about ten minutes, but then I found out she was engaged to someone else… It just set me off" I rub my hands together "I lost my temper… I smashed up the kitchen. I know I scared the shit out of her." He urges me to continue. "I couldn't believe that she was going to marry someone else!"

"Yes, but you were gone for over three years, they thought you were dead Mrs. Davies" He says in Spencer's defense

"NO! It doesn't fucking matter!" I turn and look at him dead in the eyes, slap my hand against my chest "I'm her fucking wife!" I glare at him, he shifts back in his seat away from me. I sit back down

"I um.. I'm really sorry about that… it's just a touchy subject" He just writes in his notebook "Things have actually been better between us the last few days, she is trying… well we are both trying to be together again. It will just take some time for things to be like they were before I left."

"Well Mrs. Davies, we are out of time for today. But I would like to give this to you and have you get the prescription filled. This is just a medicine that will calm you down a bit so you're not so jittery all the time… It should help with your mood swings and your anger"

"I don't want medicated." I tell him simply

"I feel like it would be in your best interest to take the medicine"

"Of course, all this fucking shit does is mess your mind up so bad that you don't even care about shit anymore. I would rather have strong feelings and care about things enough to get angry, then be all hopped up on this fucking bullshit" I rip up the prescription "I'm not taking it, have a nice day" I walk out

Xxx

"Are you going to tell me how it went?" Spencer asks me, I didn't say anything to her the whole ride home, her parents were keeping Alexis for the day so she could take me to my therapy session.

"It was okay, he wanted to medicate me… I said no" I walk up stairs and lay on the bed. I have seen it a million times, they always medicate soldiers. It's easier for them to just not deal with their problems. I want to deal with mine. I get up and walk to the closet, the one that used to be mine. I look inside, it's empty, my clothes are gone, my shoes are gone I have been borrowing Spencer's clothes since I have been home… everything is gone. All but a single box. I walk up and take it down from the shelf. I sit on the floor and open the box. Pictures litter the box to the very top; I start to take them out looking at them. Pictures of Spencer and I from all the different stages of our relationship: When we first started dating, vacations, holidays, our wedding, and our honeymoon. I could feel the tears stinging my eyes as I fingered through all of the pictures. We looked so happy, we were so in love. I spent a long time just looking through the pictures, I laughed, I smile and I cried, but mostly I felt sad. I was sad for all the time we had missed together in our lives, sad for the the memories we missed out on, but I decided there was only one thing I could do and that is try and make up for lost time.

Xxx

"Spencer!" I yell running down the steps

"Yeah, I'm in the living room" I walked in to see her sitting there watching TV. I go over and sit next to her and put hand on her leg, rubbing it up and down. She gives me a soft smile.

"So I uh noticed that you cleaned out my closet… and I don't have much to wear, and I don't want to keep wearing all of your clothes… I was just wondering if maybe we could go to the mall so I can get some new clothes?"

"Yeah, I think that would be a good idea actually. Are you ready to go now?" She asks as she turns the TV off and gets up. She stretches and I watch as her shirt ride up a little bit, she catches me looking and I just keep staring. I can't help but look when her skin is exposed, it's been so long since we've had sex it drives me crazy.

xxx

We get into the car and are on our way to the mall. Spencer is driving and I'm just sitting in the passenger's seat. We are both being rather quiet.

"Hey Spence?" I question

"Yeah?" She answers

"How about we go and eat at our favorite restaurant today. I haven't been there in so long. I would really like to go… You know… I would like us to go there… together, like we used to. It will be nice, just you and me" I smile at her

"That actually sounds really good, I haven't been there since you lef… ummm you know, since we went there together last" She reaches over and take my hand in hers lacing our fingers. She doesn't look at me, she just keeps her eyes on the road. I bring her hand up to my lips and kiss it before putting our joined hands into my lap.

Xxx

Spencer and I went to the mall and had a successful day shopping, we got along really well, and I got a lot of new clothes and shoes that I was in desperate need of. I have only been home for two weeks now, and I feel like I have been through so much already. Just by coming home to find my life completely changed, and now only two weeks later it seems as though it is back on track. I just can't believe it's only been two weeks, it's funny the way life works sometimes.

Spencer and I are on our way to our favorite restaurant Joey's. It's just a little restaurant by the beach. We have been coming here since we first started dating, and it vastly became our favorite place to go out together. It's just simple and laid back and the food and drinks are really good. It also has a full bar.

I grab her hand and lace our fingers together as we walk into the restaurant.

"Yeah I need a table for two please" I tell the hostess

"Okay if you will just follow me" We follow her back "Is a booth okay for you?"

"Yes that's perfect thank you" I nod as she sets down menus for us to look at.

Spencer slides into the booth, and I slide in next to her. We always sit next to eachother when we come here.

"What are you going to get?" I ask her as I skim over the menu

"Mmmm probably the same thing I always get… what are you getting?" She asks as she puts her chin on my shoulder to see what I am looking at.

"I think I'm gonna get the crab alfredo"

"Shocker" She states as she laughs and closes her menu

"Are you ready to order, or do you need a few minutes?" Our waitress comes out

"No, uh I think we are ready… go ahead Spence" I signal for her to order

"Okay, I'm going to have the half pound of steamed shrimp, with the half pound of crab legs please… And I will take a strawberry daiquiri to drink please" She nods and looks at me

"Okay, I'm gonna have the crab alfredo… and I think I'll have a chocolate mudslide" She leaves to put our orders in

"Ash" Spencer says putting a hand over mine "Do you think it's a good idea for you to be ummm…. Drinking?" She asks quietly

"So you're allowed to drink but I'm not?" I look her right in the eyes matching her stare

"Ashley, it's not about you drinking, just with everything that you have been going through, I just don't want it to affect you in some way… I just think that you shouldn't" She stops talking, She shakes her head and looks away "Umm, yeah it's fine, it's ummm yeah… You can drink if you want to, you can make your own decisions" She looks up at me and smiles, and puts her hand on my cheek rubbing her thumb over it gently. She then leans in and gives me a soft lingering kiss. I just smile at her, I love that we share little innocent kisses here and there, I love that things are looking up for us. I knew She would come around to her senses, I knew she was just in shock that I was actually home. I knew she was still in love with me.

Our food comes out before too long and we are both done with our first drinks.

"Can we both get another drink please" I ask as I shake my empty one in the air

"Man, this food is better than I remember!" I exclaim as I continue to quickly eat my pasta

"Yeah it is good, mmm, I can't believe it's been so long since we have been here" Spencer says

I stop and look at her "I know, but now we can start coming back as often as you like" I put my hand on her thigh and start to rub up and down. I keep my hand on her thigh as we continue to eat, rubbing my thumb on her smooth skin every so often. I'm getting turned on just touching her, I don't know what Spencer would think about us having sex at this point, but I know that I want to…bad!

"Come on Spence, let's do a shot together" I say into her neck as I place a couple of wet kisses. We have been here for a while and we have both put down about five drinks.

"Mmkay" She says against my lips as we walk up to the bar together. We are both for a lack of better words wasted.

"Yeah give us two Chocolate cake shots" I tell the bar tender. She comes back and puts everything in front of us.

We down the shot and then quickly bring the sugary lemon to our lips and bite. Best shot ever.

I pull Spencer into me by her waist, "Come on let's get out of here" I tell her as I put my lips on hers. When we get out to the parking lot I slam her up against the side of the car as we continue to kiss. Our kisses are sloppy and wet, and I'm getting so horny.

I lean down and start to kiss her neck. "Let's fuck" I say as I bring my lips back to hers. I'm always a horny drunk, but the circumstances are making it worse than usual, I mean seriously I haven't had any in over three years.

"Let's go home" She says as she starts to turn around and get in the car

I stop her as I wrap my arms around her from behind putting my hands on the door so she can't open it. "No come on baby let's do it here" I say as I start to unbutton her pants

"Ash… let's go home" She say's taking my hand off of her pants

"Come on, just get in the car, and let's fuck!" I say as I open the door for us to get in, as I try to get her into the car.

"Ash" I put my lips on hers, and she pulls back putting her hands against my chest "Stop" she tells me as she moves away from me "What the hell are you doing? We can't do this here" Now she is pissed, I know the pissed off Spencer face and that's all I'm seeing right now.

"You never had a problem with it before!" I say as I start to walk towards her.

She turns and looks at me, hands on her hips "Yeah because we used to fuck in parking lots when we were twenty years old and in college?! Seriously Ashley, we can't be doing that, we aren't twenty years old anymore… I have a job, that relies heavily on my reputation!" She shakes her head and gets in the car. I get in the car, we shouldn't be driving when we are both so intoxicated. I don't say anything though.

I remember back when me and Spencer would have sex whenever and wherever we wanted.

" _Come on baby, let's just go upstairs… I want you so bad right now" I tell Spencer as I kiss down her neck. Spencer and I are spending another holiday at her parent's house, this time it is Thanksgiving._

 _We are currently in the kitchen getting a "drink" while everyone else is in the living room talking and just spending time with each other._

" _We can't Ash, you know everyone will hear us" She says as she turns around and kisses me_

" _Mmm, please" I mumble against her lips "I haven't had you since we got here" I pout against her neck. We had been drinking mixed drinks of all sorts today, and alcohol always gets me and Spencer both horny._

" _I know baby, it sucks for me to" She says as she brings her lips back up to mine. I push her into the fridge. We slowly start to grind against each other, I put my hand down the front of her jeans. She isn't wearing underwear, she barely ever does. I start to rub her clit with three fingers. She breaks the kiss and starts to pant against my neck, kissing it every couple of seconds._

" _God baby, you feel so good" I tell her as I bite her shoulder, and continue to rub her clit._

" _SPENCE!" we hear her mom yell. I take my hand from her pants. We pull back resting our foreheads together. She looks at me apologetically._

" _Yeah mom?" She rolls her eyes_

" _What's the hold up?"_

" _Me and Ashley are just getting something to drink" She yells back_

" _Come on, it can be real quick if you want… whatever you want it to be, I just really need to fuck you" I tell Spencer in all honesty as I bite her ear gently and pull it into my mouth._

" _Go upstairs and get "you know what" and meet me outside in five minutes. Go out the back door!" She tells me urgently, she is really wants it now, I can tell._

 _Spencer walks back into the living room, while I go up to her room. I start to root through my duffel bag that I brought with me. I know exactly what she wants me to get. I can't find it; I frantically begin to throw my clothes out of the bag, I know I packed it in here. Ahhh! Here it is just what I was looking for. I quickly change and put on some sweat pants to make things a little let's say… easier._

 _I go down stairs and out the back door. Spencer isn't out here. I'm getting impatient. I'm horny and ready to fuck._

 _I hear the door open and close quietly, I turn to see Spencer coming towards me. She quickly comes over and wraps her arms around me and pulls me into a kiss. "What did you tell your parents?" I ask breaking away from her_

" _That we are going for a walk" She says quickly leaning back in and beginning to kiss me again._

 _We continue to kiss as she walks us backwards to the side of the house that isn't lit up by lights, and has no windows. When we get there I push her up against the side of the house. I quickly unbutton Spencer's jeans, and push them down, keeping lips attached to hers. I run my hand all over her wet pussy, as she moans._

" _Come on Ash… just fuck me" She pleads as her head falls back against the side of the house. I remove my own pants and shirt leaving me in just my bra. I then take Spencer's shirt off of her and throw it to the side, in the yard somewhere. Now she is only in her bra and he pants which are down around her ankles._

 _I get down on my knees in front of her and start to lick her pussy. I put both of her legs up over my shoulders so that she is sitting on them, with her back against the house_

" _Ohh baby, mmmm" She moans out putting her hands through my hair._

" _Yes, yes, keep going!" She pants out. Roughly pulling on my hair to keep me in place._

 _I pull back and put her feet back on the ground as I stand up, pulling her into another kiss._

" _Fuck me from behind" Spencer says giving me a hot open mouthed kiss_

 _I roughly turn her around so that she is facing the side of the house, I smack her ass a couple times._

" _You like that?" I say as I smack her ass "Huh?" I smack her again. She is starting to get a red mark._

" _Mmmm yeah!" She says as I smack her one more time. "God you're so sexy" I tell her putting my lips against her cheek as I pull her body into mine._

 _I then take the strap-on I have on and bring it to her pussy._

 _I rub it up and down a couple of times, and hit it against her clit. I bite her shoulder, and she leans her head back against mine._

" _Put it in Ash, come on baby" She moans out_

 _I do as she tells me and push it the whole way into her so that my hips are touching her ass_

" _Nghh, Ash" Spencer says as she brings both of her arms around my head pulling my face into her shoulder. I put my hands on her hips, but I don't move. I stay the whole way inside of her, not moving. I have a tight grip on her hips pulling her completely into me, which makes it hard for her to move against me. I know she can't stand it when I do this, but it gets her going, and worked up. I love when she gets worked up and frustrated because she takes charge, and it's so sexy when she does. She puts her hands on the side of the house and pushes back as hard as she can against me, creating space between us causing the strap-on to move out of her. I quickly pull her back against me. She continues her strategy of pushing as hard as she can against me for a good while. But it doesn't take too long until she is getting madly frustrated._

" _Unghh, your pissing me off" She tells me as she continues to try and get any movement she can against me._

" _I love when you get like this" I pant against her shoulder "You're so sexy baby" I don't think I will ever be able to completely wrap my mind around just how sexy Spencer actually is._

 _She pushes back one final time against me, and then moves away from me completely. I groan at the loss of contact. She turns around putting her back against the side of the house. I move towards her to regain contact, before my lips can hit hers she pushes me back away from her. I watch as she puts her hand to her pussy and begins to rub, leaning her head back against the wall. I watch, getting even more turned on._

" _If you won't, ahh, fuck me" She stops because she is really breathing and panting hard. "Then I will… fuck myself" I watch as she continues to touch herself in front of me. Another thing I love, nothing is hotter than your girlfriend masturbating while you watch. I move towards her again, and kiss her neck._

" _Come on baby, let me fuck you… no more teasing I promise" I tell her as my lips continue to trail along her neck._

 _She pulls my head up to her lips, and we start to kiss. I feel her bring her hands down to my ass and pull me into her. I reach down between us and grab the strap-on as I bring it up to put in her again. She jumps up and wraps her legs around me after I put it in. I move her back against the house with my hands on the back of her thighs, as I move in and out of her at a steady pace._

" _Mmmm, yeahh… right there ohhh Ashhhh" Spencer says as she pulls me deeper with her legs everytime I push into her._

" _Feel good baby?" I pant as I put my lips against hers._

" _God yessss!" She says as she pulls out of the kiss and her head falls back against the wall once again._

" _I love your pussy, mmm you feel so good" I bring my thumb up to her clit and start rubbing._

" _Harder… harder Ashhh" I double my efforts really putting it to her, just like she asked_

" _You like when I fuck you hard?!" I ask bringing my hands up to her ass, as I pull her against me even harder fucking her as rough and hard as I have all night. I move her off of the wall and get down on my knees with Spencer still wrapped around my waist. I push her back so she is lying in the grass. I begin to move in and out of her again still at a steady rhythm. She brings her hands to my back and digs her nails in, and drags them across my skin._

" _Ahhh!" I yell out against the pain of her nails ripping my skin. But fucking her feels so good I can't stop. She takes this as her opportunity to make a move as she quickly switches our positions, rolling me over, so that she is on top. She puts her hands on my shoulders as she moves the strap-on in and out of herself. I have my hands on her hips guiding her, as I watch the toy move in and out of her. She puts her head in the crook of my neck kissing it with open mouth kisses between her heavy panting as she continues to ride the fake dick._

" _Mmmm, I'm gonna cummm" She breathes into my neck. At her confession I begin to move my hips up against her so I can be sure she is going to cum hard, just like I want her too. I feel her stop moving as she falls against me, I continue to work her pussy with the strap-on, my hands on her ass pulling her on and off._

" _Mmmmm Ashh…ngghhh" She bites my neck and I feel her go completely limp against me. I am close to cumming, and continue to move in and out of her as fast as I can. I can feel my orgasm approaching, but I just can't get off._

" _Come on baby… cum" Spencer tells me putting her lips against mine. I pull away in frustration._

" _Uhhh, I…mmm, Can't baby, god" I'm sweating really bad as I continue to work at my orgasm, the sweat is just pouring off of me, I can feel it running down the sides of my face. I have never wanted to get off so bad._

 _Spencer moves off of me and begins to move down my body. I bring my hands up and run them through my hair, pulling a little bit. I'm struggling to catch my breath. I feel Spencer tug at the straps of the harness and remove it. She then brings her mouth straight to my clit and starts to suck and lick at it. I start to buck up into her face in all my effort so I can finally get off._

" _Mmmm baby… please make me cumm" I tell Spencer in a pleading whimper, I want to come so bad it's almost becoming painful. I bring one of my hands to her hair as I keep the other in my own._

 _I can't even believe when the orgasm finally hits me, I wasn't expecting it. I just lay there not saying a word, but breathing heavily. Spencer is kissing her way back up my body. She finally settles on top of me completely._

" _That was so good, mmm" She says as she kisses my collar bone._

" _I love you" I tell her as I kiss her forehead and sigh_

" _Love you to" She smiles at me "But I think we should probably get back inside before we get caught" She chuckles_

" _I can't believe I seriously just fucked you against your parents' house" I can't stop the laugh that comes out, as I realize the reality of what we just did._

I am brought from my thoughts as we pull into the driveway. Spencer is out of the car and inside the house before I even open the car door. I sigh as I make my way to the front door that was already slammed shut.

When I get in the house, I hear Spencer out in the kitchen doing the dishes. When she gets mad, she always cleans. I walk into the kitchen and stand there, just watching her as she angrily stocks around, not even paying attention to me.

"Spencer" She continues to slam the dishes into the cupboards, not answering me.

"Spencer!" I say again. She stopped and looked at me, waiting for what I had to say.

"Spence" I take a step forward. "Look, I'm sorry about that. I didn't mean to upset you. I just got carried away. "I know I shouldn't of acted like that, but we were drinking, and I didn't think it would be a big deal" I start to rub the back of my neck as she continues to stare at me. "It has been awhile since we have… you know" I say gesturing between her body and mine with my hands. "And I really wanted to… and ugh, I'm just sorry"

I watch as Spencer's shoulder finally relax and she has a sympathetic look on her face. "Ashhh" She drawls out walking towards me and enveloping me in a hug. She puts her face in the crook of my neck. I bring my hands up to her lower back.

"I'm sorry, I know I over reacted" She says as she places a few simple kisses on my neck. I get lost in the feeling of her lips on me. "You know I love you" She tells me as she brings her lips up to my ear.

"I love you too" I pull back and smile at her. "You know, this is the first day we have had alone in a long time" She starts too giggle at me my statement. "Why don't we just cuddle up and watch some movies?" She leans in and gives me a kiss

"Sounds amazing, I'm just going to go change real quick" She gives me one more kiss and then makes her way up the stairs.

We cuddle up on the couch together watching a movie.

"Ash" Spencer says kissing my collar bone and looking up

"mmhmm?"

"Will you tell me about what happened?" I feel myself tense up at the mention of it, I know exactly what she is talking about. Spencer and I have not talked about my time in Iraq yet.

"I ummm… well Spence" I'm in a loss for words, I know we need to talk about it, but it's a very hard topic.

"Please Ash, I feel like I need to know, can we just talk about it?"

"What do you want to know?" I look into her eyes

"Everything… anything you want to tell me"

" It was really stressful… you know? Every night I would just watch bombs light up the entire sky. I never knew what was going to happen, or if I was even going to wake up for the next day" I take a deep breath " I thought about you all the time" She smiles softly, and leans in to kiss me again

"I thought about you too baby, I never stopped"

"It was scary, you never knew what was going to happen next. And then the time finally came… No one expected it, but just like that we were caught up in a fire fight being ambushed" I can feel my eyes start to sting with tears. "Ummm I uh, I watched everyone get shot down and die. That's when I got shot to" I pull my shirt up and show her the scar on my side. She runs her fingers over it, and kisses it a few times. "Me and Aiden were the only ones that survived… that's when they took us to the camp" I look away " I thought for sure I was going to die, but I got lucky. They would beat me in the beginning and give me very little food or water, but after a couple of weeks, it wasn't that bad… I'm not sure if I was just numb and didn't care anymore or what"

"I'm soo sorry you ever had to go through that" I watch as tears well up in Spencer's eyes

"It is what it is Spence, but now I'm back where I belong… and I never want to leave you again"

"You don't have to Ash" She says sounding desperate, like she wants me to believe her so badly

We are quiet for a few long minutes.

"Alexis is great Spencer… I couldn't of asked for anything more, you did such a great job with her, its amazing… You're amazing" I lean in and kiss her " I wish I could have been here for the whole entire process"

"I wish you could have too" She puts her head on my shoulder

"Spence… do you think we will have any more kids ever?" I ask her a bit hesitantly

"Yeah Ash… I mean, after everything settles down, I wouldn't mind trying to have a baby with you… if that's what you want"

"You have no idea how bad I just want to experience the beauty of a baby with you" She cuddles up to me and starts to kiss me, we continue to kiss, and she moves so she is straddling me. I have my hands on her waist gently squeezing and loving the feeling of her lips on mine. She pulls back and puts her forehead against mine.

"Let's go to bed" I kiss her again as I pick her up and carry her to our bedroom. When we get to the bedroom, I kick the door shut… and the rest is history.

JUST TO CLEAR SOMETHING UP- THIS IS A SLIGHTLY AU FIC SINCE ASHLEY WAS ABLE TO GET SPENCER PREGNANT. I DON'T FIND IT TO BE A BIG DEAL AND THE REASON IT IS THAT WAY IS BECAUSE AT THE TIME I THOUGHT IT ADDED TO THE STORY LINE. THAT HOWEVER DOES NOT MEAN ASHLEY IS MASCULINE. WHEN I WROTE THIS FIC, I ENVISIONED ASHLEY STILL BEING FEMININE. IF ANYONE HAS A PROBLEM WITH IT OR IS OFFENDED- SORRY AND I DO APOLOGIZE-


	2. Chapter 10

This is the first chapter that I have written of this story in over 4 years. Who would've thought that it would ever be continued! Anyways- I hope I didn't lose the flow I had going with it before. Please feel free to leave any comments or feedback you have! Enjoy.

Chapter 10

"Mmm I really missed that" I say as I draw patterns across Ashley's stomach as I am curled up in her arms.

"Me too" Ashley responds. I can tell she is distant at this moment.

We lay in silence for several minutes

"When is the next time you have therapy?" I asked as I continue to lay in Ashley's arms.

"Next Wednesday"

"How would you feel about me coming with you to one of your therapy sessions?"

Ashley snaps out of her thoughts and answers "I think that would be really great. I would love it. Of course you can come". She leans down and kisses me on the lips. "I hate to cut this short Spence, but I'm super tired".

I roll over onto my side as Ashley pulls me in closer to her. It feels nice having her hold me again. I stay awake as Ashley drifts off to sleep. I can't shut my brain off and continue to think about everything that has happened in the last 3 weeks. I never thought I would see Ashley again but here she is lying next to me. I know that I was incredibly hard on her at first and I feel terrible about it, but there is nothing I can do at this point except continue to make an effort to continue in the right path and help her along the way. I think it was just how I responded to the situation by being cold towards her, even though it wasn't right. I know she went through and will continue to go through a hard time. I'm lucky that she is back in my life. With that I push myself back deeper into Ashley and lace my fingers with hers that are draped across my body. I fall into a sleep as well.

XXXX

Ashley and I are sitting next to one another on the leather couch of the therapist office. He is shuffling through his papers and we are all sitting in silence for the time being.

"It's nice of you to join us, Spencer" he finally breaks the silence

"Oh yes, I thought it would be really beneficial for me to come with Ashley to her therapy sessions when I am able to".

"I agree. So tell me Spencer, how has Ashley been this past week?" he is looking me dead in the eye.

"She has been better. I have seen some positives, especially since we have been working on our relationship". I give Ashley a small smile. She grabs my hand.

"Ashley, would you agree that things have been going well?"

"Yeah. You know I am really trying to hold my anger in and attempting to be calm…. But I have to say- the flash backs… the memories really get to me sometimes". Ashley looks away and finds a book to stare at on the shelf.

"I see it in my dreams, when I hear an alarming sound, when I'm sitting in silence. When I look at my daughter and think of all the children that I saw murdered in the streets… when I make love to my wife and think of all the soldiers, MY soldiers, that will never get to be with their significant other in an intimate way again… They just won't go away. I can't get away from them. They're haunting me in every aspect of my life". I look at Ashley but she continues to look away and avoids eye contact between the therapist and myself.

"Ashley" her therapist starts "I know I brought up the idea of medication before. You said you did not want to take it. I'm not saying it has to be permanent, but I don't think it would be a bad idea". He stresses

Ashley is responding by vigorously shaking her head saying "no, no, no, NO! God damn- I told you I'm not doing the medicine!" Ashley stands up beginning to pace the floor.

The therapist looks at me and then back to Ashley who is pacing but is rubbing the bridge between her nose out of frustration.

"Ash…" I start out slowly until she looks at me "maybe it wouldn't be a bad idea to think about the medicine". She's upset

"Whose side are you on Spence?!" she shoots at me

"Obviously yours …always yours. I just want you to be the best you can be. Not just for you, but for Alexis and I too. I need my wife and she needs her mother, especially now that we are really trying to work on things". I plead with her taking her hand again.

"No. No. No. Neither of you seem to understand how many times I have seen this. Give us the pills and just forget about all the other fucking shit that we went through! It doesn't work like that. I don't want to be a zombie version of myself. I wanna do this with a holistic approach, if you don't like it, I'll get a new therapist" Ashley says looking him dead in the eyes She turns to me "And if you don't like it….. well then I don't know" she trails off.

"How have her anger spurts and unpredictable and or destructive behaviors been, Spencer?" I look down wanting to be careful how I respond

"Well they have been better. I think anything would be better than the kitchen incident. But I also know this week that we have gone through a sweeper and a weed whacker on accounts of Ashley becoming upset".

She looks down ashamed. "the sweeper wouldn't run right and the weed whacker ran out of chord" she responded.

"And how did you go about destroying them?" He asks

"I threw the sweeper out of the window and it landed in several pieces on our drive way… and the weed whacker… Well I smashed it off the ground until it was in 2".

"Mrs. Davies, you do understand that those are not acceptable behaviors, don't you?"

"Yes" Ashley mumbles to him

"I have no choice but to diagnose you, which I'm sure this is coming as no surprise" he looks between us several times before continuing. "with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder".

"No surprise here. I know I'm fuckin' crazy!" Ashley walks out the door slamming it behind her.

"I am so sorry about that" I say in a hurry apologizing for Ashley's behavior. "Can I call you about rescheduling for her?" I say as I rush out the door. He nods

XXXX

The car ride home is silent as I drive us home. Ashley has her cheek resting against her palm as her arm rests against the window.

We pull into the driveway and Ashley gets out of the car and walks into the house slamming the door shut. I follow behind. When I walk in I see Ashley sitting in the living room getting ready to turn the television on. I walk to the kitchen where I see my mother.

"Thank you so much for watching Lexi" I say as I hug my mother.

"It's not a problem. She's upstairs napping". She responds hugging me back

I go to the cupboard and pull out 2 wine glasses, one for me and one for my mother. I go to the wine holder and pour us both a glass without a word. My mother looks at me questioningly but doesn't say anything as she takes a drink of her wine.

I put my elbows down on the counter top. My hair falls forward. I run my fingers through it before sitting up and letting out a sigh. My mother continues not to say anything. I throw back my wine and fill my glass up again.

"Spencer… is everything okay?"

"I don't know mom. I really don't. Sometimes things are great and others…" I trail off. "I just wish we could go back to before all of this".

"Well of course you do spencer, it's not an ideal situation at all".

"I'll be starting work soon again and I wanted Ashley to be able to watch Lexi while I'm working, but honestly, with her temper I don't know how I feel about it". I look at my mother shaking my head. "I don't think she would ever hurt her, but I just don't want her exposed to it".

"Spence you know you can leave Lexi with your father and I whenever we are able to watch her".

I disregard the comment "She got diagnosed with PTSD today". I whisper to my mother.

"Oh honey" my mother says sympathetically "I can't say I'm surprised".

I look out to the living room where Ashley is sitting and watching tv. I see her mouthing words to the tv before she smacks the remote against her hand several times as I'm assuming it was not working properly "stupid fucking thing!" I hear her say

My mother and I look at each other. We both put our wine glasses up to our mouths without another word.

XXXX

I get out the phone and call up Aiden.

"Hey Ash" he answers

"Hey, can you come get me? I really need to get out of the house".

"yeah sure I'll be there in 30 minutes" I hang up the phone and look at the clock-3:30

I hear Aiden beep outside to let me know he is here" I leave the house without a word

"Hey Ash wha…"

"Just drive to the nearest bar" I cut him off.

Soon we are sitting behind the bar

"Can I get a double whiskey on the rocks and a shot of vodka" I say to the bar tender. I can feel Aiden looking at me questioningly, but I don't acknowledge his looks

"So what's going on Ash?"

"I honestly just needed to get the fuck out of the house man". I respond honestly

He nods his head "Is everything okay with Spencer?"

"She thinks I need medicated. We went to therapy today and she agreed with him about medication" I roll my eyes at the thought

"Ash- she's just worried about you"

"Don't" I respond holding a hand up to let him know to stop talking

"No Ashley. Despite everything over the past few weeks, you weren't here for the 3 years that she went through hell over you being gone. She never came back from it the same" He emphasizes. "then all of a sudden BAM! Here you are, back in her life. You need to cut her some slack. She doesn't know how to respond… and… and I don't think you do either" he says as he nods his head in the direction of the alcohol that was put in front of me. "You're not the only one who experienced trauma" he continues.

I don't say anything but put the glass up to my mouth. It burns, but it burns so good.

We stay at the bar for quite a while as it is 9pm when I stumble through the door

I see spencer sitting on the couch cuddled up with Alexis. She looks so beautiful in that moment to me.

"Speennccee" I draw her name out with a drunken smile

She just looks up at me

"Babyy" I try to get her attention again

This time she turns to me and puts a finger to her lips signaling for me to be quiet.

"I need to put her to bed" She whispers to me

"Here, let me do it" I say attempting to take Alexis from her arms.

She moves so I can't grab her and proceeds to walk up the stairs with her

"I could smell the liquor on you as soon as you walked in the door. Why would you think you could carry her?!" She again whispers but in a harsh voice.

I follow them up the steps

Spencer tucks Alexis in the bed and I go to follow her lead. Spencer quickly puts a hand to my chest pushing on me lightly to go the other way.

"What the fuck Spence?" I slur out

"You're not going to be around her when you're hammered like this". I turn and throw my hands up in the air. "tis fuckin bullshit!" I say as I walk to the bedroom.

She follows behind me "what is wrong with you Ashley? You have a family now… why would you think it's okay to go sit at the bar all day on a Wednesday?" she asks me very calmly

"I just… I didn't know what else to do" I respond "Plus who are you to judge me? I saw you with your wine today!" I fire back

"A few glasses of wine at home is a little different than leaving without a word to go crawl into a bottle of liquor at the bar!" She shoots back quickly.

We both sit in silence. We are now sitting on our bed side by side.

Spencer puts her head on the back of my shoulder and begins to talk. "We were doing really good this past week Ash". Her voice sounds sad and somewhat defeated "I thought we were moving in the right direction"

"I'm sorry Spencer" I say as I move my arm around her shoulder. We fall back onto the bed. She is lying beside me; we are both looking up at the ceiling. He head is rested on my shoulder. We say nothing

 _Flashback_

" _Ash" spencer says pushing on my shoulder a little bit as we look up at the stars. We are on a camping trip together in northern California._

" _Yeah babe?"I respond_

" _What do you think our life will be like together?"_

" _Mmm lets see" I say tapping on my chin. I continue to think "I don't knowww" I say with a smile_

" _Ash come on, yes you do!" She pushes me urging me to continue_

" _Okay, okay… after we get married" I begin as I pull her hand up and brush my thumb over her engagement ring "no, no, I mean before we get married. We will start looking for a house where we want to settle down. But it has to be a good neighborhood with a good reputation because I don't want our kids to grow up in a bad area" I hear spencer let out a squeal as she shoves her face into my neck. I turn to look at her. She has the biggest smile on her face "what?" I ask_

" _You wanna have kids?" she continues to smile_

" _Of course I do… mostly because I know what we get to do to make the kids" I raise my eyebrows at her a few times suggestively. She laughs as I continue_

" _I think we will be happy. That's really the main goal Spence. I want to do anything I can to make sure we have the best life together because you don't deserve anything less." She just continues to look at me with a content smile on her face_

" _OH! And obviously I want to take as many vacations and trips possible" I emphasize. "I've really come to love the trips that we take together and all the experiences we have. They're wonderful. It's even better that I get to share them with you"._

 _We are both gazing up at the stars._

" _you know spence, you're so much more than just my fiancé, you're my best friend too. That's what makes us so great, we are best friends and lovers" I lean over and kiss her lovingly on the lips. "We will have a wonderful life together" I hear her sigh contently._

 _We continue to look up into the night sky._

I am brought out of my memory by Spencer's picked up breathing. I turn and see that she has fallen asleep. I slightly shift her body so she is lying up in bed and proceed to cover her up. I turn the lights out and get ready for bed. When I go in and lay next to Spencer I wrap her up in my arms and kiss the back of her neck.

I continue to lay and think. I know that Spencer and Alexis don't deserve this and I am trying my best to get better, but it's so hard. There is so much going on in my head. It's constant. I don't want to lose them though. I realize I need to make a change.

Maybe I'll look into the medication. I kiss Spencer one last time before closing my eyes to go to sleep.


End file.
